Then I got an email that made me feel as though I am horrible at my job.

Then a co-worker (who likes to think he’s funny) implied that I am constantly cranky which made me feel badly until I realized that really? I’m only cranky when he’s around, because he MAKES me cranky.

Then I got home from work and discovered that having left the TV on all day with the “netflix” screen-saver showing, I now see Mr. Roper with a big white “netflix” across his face.

All of the above are brought to you by menstrual cramps, headaches, and a lack of Tylenol.

Or just the fact that I’m constantly cranky.

Let’s see what I can tell you.

Doozer weighs 15.5 lbs. Sprocket weighs 16.4 lbs. When the vet first told us that I was like “What, seriously?” because, you know, they’re shih tzus. You have this mental image of shih tzus weighing five pounds and fitting in a purse. I’d need an awfully big purse if I was going to carry these two around. So then I asked the vet if they were too big and she said no, for their bone structure they’re perfect.

Things they both like:

- their Kongs
- rawhide things.
- licking. Everything.
- running through the snow when it is taller than they are
- looking out the window
- sleeping on the floor
- sleeping on the couch
- sleeping on my lap
- sleeping on Rob’s lap
- sleeping on our bed
- socks

I might ask them later if they have any other interests. I’d ask now but they’re sleeping.

I read an article about how dogs don’t need all kinds of grains and junk in their diet and then I went and looked at their dog food and one of the first ingredients was corn, and another was wheat. Sprocket gets those red tear stains, and Doozer has had skin problems. And while I can’t 100% say that those are caused by their food, all of the research I’ve done has said that it’s a huge possibility. So we have started switching their food. The new food is turkey/duck and has no grains. It’s also twice as expensive for half the amount of their other food… but they will supposedly eat less of it. Well, either way, we love them and if this is better for them it’s better for them. We’ve been mixing it in with their usual food so that they don’t get some kind of stomach shock and start pooping everywhere. I mean it’s bad enough when Rob does that HAHA JUST JOKING. So right now we’re up to about 1/4 new food, 3/4 old food, and they have been kind of going nuts for the new stuff. Like, Sprocket will actually pick through the kibble to get only the new pieces.

My dogs. So talented.

Anyway I pretty much knew the basic storyline: Juana (daughter of Ferdinand of Aragon and Isabella of Castille) is sent to Flanders to marry Philip (and can you believe that this guy had the nickname “Philip the Handsome“?), the Archduke of Austria. They bone a lot and they both like it and keep having kids. Then she finds out that he’s having plenty of bone time with other ladies and she goes sort of mental about it.

Anyway. The movie was… interesting. They certainly took some license with the extent of Juana’s “madness”. Most analysts today say that she probably just suffered from clinical depression but back then? She was considered crazy. So they have stuff like her giving birth in a bathroom then cutting the umbilical cord with her teeth, or running around outside screaming (her mother had just died and she’d just caught her husband in bed with someone else – I don’t blame her for screaming).

Eventually Mr. Handsome dies and she’s all “Oh My Cher I love him!” and won’t let them bury him, and keeps visiting his dead corpse even after years and years.

In real life, her father (who didn’t want her to take over as queen of Castille after her mother’s death, which she should have by rights, because he wanted to remain King) had her locked up for the next 50 years because he said she was crazy (he was probably the one who started the rumours about her kissing Philip’s old musty skeleton).

Anyway the movie kept me up until 11, then my brain was all awake and like “Whoa crazy Spanish people! SO crazy!”. So yesterday I was fairly tired. And yesterday I was in bed by 7 pm. Well, 6:30. I probably only started sleeping at 7. And I slept for a full 11 hours! And I feel great today!

Then I woke up to the news that we have a one-hour delay (first of any kind of weather-related cancellation this year) so I get to relax for awhile. It’s pretty great.

One thing that I do love about Valentine’s day is that most of my favourite stores start having Valentine’s Day sales. EdenFantasys is currently having a sale on so many of their items; 25% off anything from sex toys for couples to massage kits (I sure could do with a massage right about now!). Actually, this is something that I’ve liked about EF’s massage products. I have extremely dry, overly-sensitive skin and can’t use most lotions and potions out there when my eczema is flaring up (which is fairly often). I have owned this set of Kama Sutra massage oils in the past, and even though they are (pleasantly) scented, they haven’t irritated my skin. I’ve actually used the Sweet Almond and Healing Blend ones as moisturisers on my legs – my most affected area – and found them soothing and calming to my skin.

EdenFantasys also has some beautiful Valentine’s themed lingerie on sale; I’m not much of one for little pink hearts and belly-revealing robes, but I really like this corset by Coquette, and, surprisingly (well, not surprisingly for EdenFantasys, they carry plenty of plus-sized stock), it comes in my size.

One of my recent purchases from EdenFantasys was this ToiBocks storage box. It’s sitting pretty on my bedside table, looking for all the world like a jewelry box. I love it; it’s beautiful to look at, and very useful, and, most importantly, discreet. Not that anyone’s ever in our bedroom who wouldn’t know that we had all those things, but I like the idea that if we ever have workers in or guests over, stuff is put away and in one place in a locked box.

Soooo, still really enjoying EdenFantasys. I’m thinking that for Valentine’s Day, we might be taking advantage of some great sales and adding a few items to our collection.

Now that I’m (ahahaha) 5 months away from being 29 for the 7th time (yeah that’s convoluted, I’m almost 36), I’m not much of a partier. Like, alcohol passes my lips possibly three, four times per year. And instead of an entire 2L bottle of Rockaberry Canada Cooler (oh my GOD), it’s like, one glass of wine, or a little Bailey‘s in some hot chocolate.

One of my coworkers, J, texted me yesterday afternoon saying “Having a get-together at my place. Just bought $40 of wine and snacks. BE THERE. 7 pm”.

With an invitation like that, how could I refuse? I napped a bit that afternoon, then later while I was on Facebook J popped up to say that everyone who was supposed to be coming had backed out so it would just be her and me, and that she was in her yoga pants and old tshirt and that was the style for the night. I was like “Fine by me!” and put on my sweatpants and Party Hair and off I went.

We had a couple of glasses of wine, ate some chips, talked about her new diet (she’s trying out going gluten free for a week, because an acupuncturist told her gluten might be causing her anxiety). About an hour into our PARTAY another co-worker, C, showed up. She had some ginger ale, talked about how her car needed new parts (something bearings? thrust bearings? I don’t know), and then we looked at all of J’s memorabilia from her eight (8!!!) trips to New York City. Last summer she actually went and LIVED THERE for two weeks (I know, I know, those of you who are not me are thinking “big deal” but you have to remember where I’m from and the fact that I have been outside of Canada only once, when I was 11, and during that trip the highlight was shopping at JC Penney. A STORE THAT I SAW COMMERCIALS FOR ON U.S. TV!) and over the course of that two weeks saw 20 Broadway shows, and only paid $550 for them! That’s an average of like $28 per ticket! SHE IS MY HERO!

Anyway eventually I came home (no I wasn’t driving) and got to bed by 2 am or so. Before bed I posted on Facebook about a wild night with my party hair on and how I’d been up to no good and I got all kinds of “ooooooh you bad thing you” and “does the naughty teacher need detention?” comments. Which makes me laugh a little because if only they knew: two glasses of wine, some chips, and sweatpants. Sign me up for the Bad Girls’ Club!

So this morning I woke up and I’m a little tired, but overall okay. That’s where the title comes from: Just like my younger days! So what if I didn’t add 8 shots of tequila to my consumption… IT MEANS NOTHING.

She was allowed to go home yesterday, with strict instructions to stay in bed and not do anything. With blood counts this low she risks internal bleeding for no reason – in fact she had a little in her eyes/eyelids a few days ago. This cuts her de-boredomizers down because it hurts her eyes to read, but she can still watch movies and videos.

Since I live in PEI and she lives in NS, I can’t actually be there to help out. But I decided that every day I would send a funny/interesting video or two to at least give her a laugh or entertain her. Here are a few that I’ve sent so far:

(I told her that her husband and the doctors should get together and find inspiration from this video)

Skip to about 1:28 on this next one:

and then of course, the honey badger:

Anyway yeah… hopefully she’s been laughing and not feeling bored by my offerings!

I say “pretty much” because when Rob got home from work at 9:30 I got up to hang out with him for a bit. A bit, like, 12 minutes. Then straight back to bed. Woke up to pee at 4:30, then back to sleep until 7:30 when the dogs insisted on their morning walk.

I feel great now though! My plan was to be at work by 9 am, and home by noon. Instead I’ve been sucked in to watching SVU and will leave after that.

WHY THE HECK DIDN’T I USE THAT??

Hah. Mainly because the phone number for the insurance thing? Was in the glove box. In the car. Which was locked. So I couldn’t get in to get the number to call them to tell them to come and open my car for me.

I need to get that number tattooed on me somewhere.

When I got to the cash, half-asleep still, the cashier rang through my purchases. I noticed that she seemed to be having trouble with the pop, but I have trouble sometimes with the self-checkout at the grocery store and she had a big “trainee” button on so no big deal. Until she told me that my total was $48.27. And I was like “Whaaaat?”

(aside: actually for a split second after I thought “wow that’s a lot of money” I also thought “but maybe my math skills are just really bad and it comes to nearly $50 with taxes?” and I took out my debit card and started moving it toward the paypad because I have so little confidence in my mathematical abilities)

The cashier also thought that was a bit high when I pointed it out to her and it turned out that she’d scanned in the soda six times.

Anyway. While this was going on Rob texted me and reminded me of something that I had mentioned I needed to pick up at the grocery store. So after clearing up the whole soda thing (the grand total was $12 instead of nearly $50), off I headed to the grocery store.

When I had parked at the grocery store, I texted Rob about the goings-on at WalMart. I was also listening to an interesting news story on the radio. And so when I got out of the car and started walking away, it took me a second to realize that I didn’t have my keys with me. And then I turned around and walked back to the car – which was running. With the keys inside. Locked.

MY ADHD LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

I texted Rob about the dilemma. Then I phoned my mommy and daddy, like you do. Dad drove out to Rob’s work, got his key from him, and brought it to me. All in all it took about 45 minutes (Rob works 20 minutes out of town). That entire time I was in the grocery store entryway, watching the car to make sure that it wasn’t exploding or being stolen by hoodlums. And of course the doors of a grocery store never stay closed, with people coming and going, so I was freezing by the time Dad came to my rescue.

So who thinks I need to maybe hire someone to follow me around and yell “Don’t forget your keys!” “Hey the oven burner is still on!” “Where did you leave your phone?” at appropriate intervals?

Our neighbour (who I have mentioned before: elderly, ginger, handy with a snowblower) is out there directing his wife, who is at the controls of a skidsteer in front of their house. Like, just driving back and forth.

I’m basically half nekkid here (I got in the house after work today and THREW DOWN MY BRA. And my wig, come to think of it) so I am sending Rob out to see what’s going on.

…

No, no, not nosy at all, eh?

…

Reporting back:

They rented that machine because they wanted to dig a hole in their yard (Rob didn’t ask what for. If any of their thousands of screaming family members turn up missing I’ll know where to turn though) . And they had rented it for this weekend because it’s supposed to be like, 10 degrees (Celsius) tomorrow (it’s JANUARY. WTF), and apparently it’s cheaper to rent when the company feels like you won’t be able to use it than during the “on” season.

I don’t know. This all seems mental to me. Luckily I won’t be around to witness the horror tomorrow (going to work after I drop Rob off at his work) so here’s hoping they don’t hit any sewer lines or anything.