Today Rob is at work. My plan is to go to the garden store (and, uh, Dollarama) and get a few things for my garden. I also want to clear off the back “patio” (which is just patio stones that were thrown down all willy nilly almost six years ago a week before the wedding so that we would have somewhere to put the barbecue for the rehearsal dinner). It got all uneven, and grass grew up through the cracks, and we haven’t really used it for the past year or so. Hoping this year to pull it up and move it (it’s too close to these big pine trees so there are always bugs there), while evening out the earth under it, putting down tarps or landscaping fabric to keep the grass from growing up through, and maybe some gravel between the stones (something like this).

But first I must go clear all the crap off of the patio that’s there!

(“Happy’s Mother Day” is what my niece – now 17 – used to say when she was little).

Anyway. I feel like a Health Whiner here lately. I’m going to take a benadryl or two and go to bed… here’s hoping these hives go soon.

I had a dentist appointment yesterday and they told me that I’m beginning to get “pockets” in my gums. Which means – GUM DISEASE. This is HORRIFYING to me. I was absolutely floored because I brush at least twice daily (usually 3 times) and floss every day. Then they told me that it can be hereditary (makes sense – both my parents are full-on denture wearers) and that I hadn’t been doing anything wrong to cause it… so what the eff?

I asked what more I could be doing and they just kind of hemmed and hawed til I prompted them. “Any special toothbrush, or mouthwash, or anything?” and they told me that they had seen success in some patients who used sonicare toothbrushes (oh yay, $90 toothbrush that may or may not help) and I am going to get that because I like my teeth and I want to keep them for as long as I can.

But still. GUM DISEASE? CRAP SAKES.

start with underwear and socks
pack that up
then toiletries in a baggie
you might need some kind of general liability insurance for when you’re really sleep deprived and murder someone…
then clothes you’re gonna wear
chargers and whatnot on top of that
and then, pictures of famous buttholes from history

That’s my husband. He’s quite a guy.

I am horrified. Horrified. My friend is relatively young (only 27) and very very close with her parents. This is going to wreck her, for so long.

I don’t know what to do, either… she was supposed to be coming on this trip with us tomorrow. The trip can’t be cancelled or annulled. Which means that I have to go on the trip, and I can’t be there for my friend. I called and left a message on her machine, texted her with an offer of any help whatsoever but what can you do?

So sad. So sad.

Walking the dogs this morning I saw that someone in our neighbourhood had put three couches and a lazyboy chair out on the side of the road for garbage pickup. I got a little indignant, thinking “Okay so they might be ugly but they’re not broken or anything! They would make perfectly serviceable cabin furniture!” Then I noticed all the pee stains and watched Doozer take a sniff and immediately lift his leg and my fury abated.

Yesterday I wore high heels and realized I was taller than many of my male coworkers. Usually I’m only taller than about three of them, and the same height as a couple more. Not that that’s going to stop me from wearing heels. No, what’s going to stop me from wearing heels is the pain in my legs by midafternoon. I don’t care what Stacy and Clinton say, they’re not just as comfortable as any other shoes.

Okay BLAH time to go start my day.

And this morning, while getting out of bed, I was all moany and groany and elderly-feeling.

Yep, 35 years old and just as spry as a chicken.

(if you know where THAT’S from, you win extra bonus points)

Edenfantasys is probably one of, if not THE last, place you’d think of shopping for Mother’s Day gifts, since most people associate it with sex toys or sexy lingerie. Which is fine, if it’s a husband buying stuff for his wife for Mother’s Day, but I’m sorry, I am NOT buying my mom a vibrating mascara wand (although, how genius is that?!).

For my mom, I was thinking of putting together a little spa-day type gift. Maybe the Garden of Edo organic collection – Mom is WAY into organics and eco-friendly – but I might also pick up some of the really great-smelling products from CAKE Beauty: I know that personally I enjoy the Milk Made bath and shower cream and their white sugar scrub because although they smell great, they’re not too heavily scented, you know? Mom and I tend to have the same problems – sensitivity to overly-perfumed products, sensitive skin- and I haven’t had a problem with either of these so I think they’d be good.
See? Great Mother’s Day shopping from EdenFantasys, not a sex toy in sight!
Aw to heck with it – I could also throw in this bath massager or vibrating mesh sponge. For all I know they would be used solely for sore muscle relief. And that is fine!

Remember, you can save 20% on all orders with coupon code XOXO at the checkout.

When I was a kid, that envelope was “my” mail (I loved getting mail, but no one was writing to me when I was 8… I don’t know why, I was probably infinitely more interesting then than I am now!) and I was always SO excited when it came. I’d read over every single coupon, even the ones for lawn fertilizer (not so much the ones for bras though. OMG BRAS NOOOO I was 8!). I’d organize them into categories. Sometimes I’d cut out pictures and make collages. And eventually they would all be thrown away (because I also didn’t like messes) when the next envelope came.

Little kids. Bra-avoiding, coupon-loving little kids, man.

Rain all week, actually, if I look at the forecast.

Where are those blankets again?