Recipe #1:

Take a zucchini from your garden if you have one. If you don’t have a garden find a zucchini somewhere. Don’t steal it from your neighbour’s garden because neighbours can be annoying when you steal things from them. Slice it thickly (about 1-inch slices). Either lengthwise or in little circles (I prefer lengthwise).
Brush both sides with olive oil. Put on some salt and some pepper. Put it on your grill (if you have a grill – we have this one). Cook for six minutes. Eat it up.

If you don’t have a grill put it in the oven on broil.

Recipe #2:

Take two slices of bread. Put them in the toaster. Toast them the way that you like to toast them. As soon as they’re out of the toaster, put some butter (not margarine. Butter) on one slice. On the other slice put some mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip). Then take a tomato from your garden (see previous recipe) and slice it thinly. Put it on the bread. Make a sandwich. Eat that sandwich.

Hah. Are you impressed now with my culinary skillzzzzz? Pretty much the only things that have flourished in my vegetable garden this year are tomatoes and zucchinis. Which is fine by me because I love them. A lot.