Onward (and grossward)
I do go outside in the mornings, to walk the dogs. Generally in the mornings we walk on the street because there aren’t many cars driving around at 6 am and I don’t like going out in the field where my feet in their fake crocs (shut up) get all wet from the dew and slide around and I hate that.
Two days ago, about halfway through our walk, I noticed Doozer kind of straining to go toward this one particular stop sign. Of course Sprocket followed suit. I started walking in that direction (I don’t do a whole bunch of “YOU MUST ONLY WALK BEHIND ME!” with those dogs. They know to get over when I tell them to)… and then I saw it. A DEAD BIRD. And not just a little sparrow or finch – a great big crow. I didn’t let them near it, of course, and the next few walks, I took them on a different route, figuring that the groundskeepers would eventually get rid of the bird and life would be fine again.
I have to admit that I’d forgotten all about the ex-bird by this morning when we stumbled along that route. I didn’t want to go the other way, through the field, as I’ve been doing the past couple of mornings, because not only would my feet get wet, but the groundskeepers cut all the grass yesterday and I’d have grass clippings stuck to my wet feet. I hate that even more than just having wet feet.
Until Doozer started pulling toward that stop sign again. And I looked over. And yeah. Mr. Chirpy was there. Actually Mr. Chirpy was all over. Because when they cut the grass yesterday, they didn’t move him – they just ran over him with the mower. I will just say this: Seeing a fricasseed-by-a-mower bird, complete with insects and other things now living on it is probably much more effective than any weight loss drink you could ever think of. When I came home I told Rob about it and he was like “Uh okay… well I guess that means it’s going to biodegrade faster”.
That didn’t help me much.