I’m going to set down the tale of my prescription runaround.

My visit with the doctor basically took about 4 minutes. “I have an ear infection.” “Has any white matter been coming out?” “No, but the ear infection is just starting.” “How do you know you have an ear infection then if nothing is coming out?” “I’ve had these my entire life, like, every other month. I know what it feels like when they’re starting.” “It looks like your eardrum is bulging. Ear infections are caused by a blockage in the eustachian tube. Eustachian tube gets blocked when you have the common cold. The common cold makes your eustachian tube swell and then block. You need to take Claritin, and avoid catching so many colds.” “Uh, okay.”
Then he wrote a prescription for Bactrim and left the room.

I went downstairs to the pharmacy, and dropped off my prescription. They told me it should take about fifteen minutes, so I got a shopping cart and went and picked up some things (we needed bread and milk, and I wanted tomatoes). When I came back 15 minutes later, after I waited behind a man who was very confused about his cholesterol medication, the pharmacist took me aside. “Louise, the phone number you gave us, 3XX-XXXX isn’t the proper one.” “Huh?” “The phone number we have for you here is 8XX-XXXX. And your address is Blahdiblah Blah Villagetown Blah.”

“That was my address and phone number when I lived with my parents, but I moved from there four years ago. The phone number I gave you, and the address, are where I’ve lived since then. I’ve used them here for the past four years.”

She typed a little more into the computer, and then said “Oh! I see. We have two listings for you here. Just give me ten minutes to merge the two listings and then we’ll give you your prescription”.

Off I went to wander about the store again. This time I didn’t get any groceries, but I did hang around in the magazine/book section for a bit.

When I got back, the pharmacist looked at me apologetically. “Our computers are down… the guy is here fixing them now”.

All in all, what usually takes 15 minutes, 20 at most, took about an hour and a half.

But if you’re ever looking for tzatziki in the Superstore, I can point you to it right away. I’ve got that place memorized.

“Louise, why didn’t you just leave and come back later instead of wandering the supermarket for an hour and a half?”

Because, gentle reader, I know me. If I had gone home, I’d have immediately removed my trousers and refused to leave the house again.