Jeez Louise

It’s been 10 hours and the new year is pretty great so far. Of course I’ve spent about 8 of those 10 hours sleeping and I love sleep so I might be a little biased.

2009 was… well, it was a year. The first half was spent with fertility drugs, tests, more tests, and more drugs. The second half was spent trying to recover from the news that no matter the tests or drugs, we won’t be having a baby. And trying to get over myself and my silly “Oh man how come every person I know is pregnant all at once? It’s not faiiiiiiiir” whining. Because why wouldn’t it be fair? The fact is that 10% of people who want to have kids, can’t. Rob and I are part of that 10%. Do I wish we weren’t? Yes, but that would mean that it would be someone else, and I’m not wishing that on anyone, either. Anyway. We’re doing better. It will always hurt, and we’ll always have this small (huge) twinge of sadness when we think about it, but as they (well, ‘they’ – Ernest Hemingway) say, “the world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger in the broken places”.

Of course, 2009 is also the year when a couple of fools came to live with us and for that I will be eternally grateful. They bring joy to us every day (except for the days when they bring crab legs).

Last night, Rob and I went over to my friend C’s house for a New Year’s Eve “party”. I say “party” loosely – there were us two, C, her husband (until 10:30 pm when he had to leave for work) and her friend E. C’s kids were sleeping in their bedrooms. When we got there, the first thing that happened is that the seven-layer dip I’d made was dropped in the driveway. By someone I won’t mention. Whose name rhymes with Bob. I dropped Rob off and came home and picked up the second batch I had made because I wanted to have some for us for later. There was no drinking or carousing at the party. We played Trivial Pursuit for awhile (and realized that we all suck at 90s trivia, and that that game is boring). C and I realized that we were wearing the same bra (the perils of having only one Big Lady store in our city). We talked and laughed and eventually made it to midnight. It was everything we needed it to be.

Today, the dogs let us sleep until 9 am before demanding their morning walk. Now Sprocket’s snuggling me and Doozer is all splayed out on their new bed. I’m studiously ignoring the pile of textbooks sitting in the front hallway, just waiting for me to start prepping for work next week. Rob’s actually still asleep but I am going to go and wake him up in a second, and then we are going to clean the kitchen and mess it up again with our turkey dinner.

I hope that your New Year’s Eve was everything you hoped it would be, and that your 2010 brings to you all good things.