block

block

I am such a slacker.

I started knitting baby blankets for my friend N at the end of last May. She was having twins, due in July. I got one finished in mid-June. The second was halfway done by the time the babies were born, on July 4th. Then we went on a trip, and I decided I’d relax a bit and enjoy my vacation, then I had my surgery, and I haven’t picked up my knitting needles since. At this pace those babies will be teenagers looking for the best acne treatment available before I’m done with their gift.

I keep trying to figure out what it is that’s causing me to recoil every time I go near the baby blankets. Literally, I think about picking the second blanket up again and getting started on it, and I feel a little nauseous. The possibilities are… finite. Before being given the word that I would absolutely never have children, I was able to do this. Now that I know I’ll never be a mom, I seem to have some sort of block. I realize that I won’t ever do this for my own children and it hurts, so I don’t bother knitting.

It’s selfish and silly. I have to get back to it. But not today.

3 Responses »

  1. I know there are no words for this. The best I can do is send loving thoughts your way.
    Also,it is not selfish or silly. It is real and it hurts and you are human.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>