Comments on: Just.

By: Isabel

Isabel — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:11:11 +0000

Wait…are you telling me that praying won’t get me pregnant! Oh-No, I’ve been doing it all wrong!!

Oh yes, sarcasm from the girl who gets the whole “why can’t I have a baby” mantra!

(That’s right…I have nothing good to offer. But I am impressed with how in tune you seem to be!)

By: Debbie

Debbie — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:09:42 +0000

I’m in the 10% with you, Louise, and after a didn’t-want-it-but-they-said-it-was-the-only-way-to-solve-my-pain hysterectomy 6 years ago (which didn’t, just for fun, solve the pain), I’m quite solidly in the 10%. So I also know what you mean about the expenses of things like IVF and adoption. It’s so heartbreaking when the whole world (including your own body) seems to have conspired together to prevent you from having a primary human experience, that so many others seem to get so easily. What’s up with THAT?! I know it’s possible for people to adopt very inexpensively, if they happen to know a variety of women having unwanted children, one of whom might choose them to adopt one of those children, but … that ain’t me! My heart’s hurting for you and with you, Louise. I’m so sorry.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:36:54 +0000

I agree with all of the above. You need to express yourself, and this is the perfect place to do it. Sending you much love, Louise… xoxo

By: alianora

alianora — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:24:23 +0000

You aren’t whining. You’re grieving. Blogs are for talking your way through what’s in your head. We’re here to listen.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 05:31:55 +0000

I’m new to your blog and really appreciate your openness and honesty about all of it. I am also probably in that 10% and I have known for almost 10 years. I’m sorry you are going through this. There really are no words…

By: bethany actually

bethany actually — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:37:11 +0000

You’re allowed to “just” whine and complain about being in that 10% as much as you want here on this blog, baby. Your blog, your rules!

We were in the same boat of trying and really WANTING to get pregnant for more than three years before it happened. And our reasons were mainly geography and timing, we had no reason to believe it wouldn’t happen eventually, but the waiting and hoping and wondering, Why not us? still sucked.

I’m sorry you’re in that 10%. That really sucks.

By: Louise

Louise — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:30:23 +0000

I know that it’s because it’s an uncomfortable subject, and they don’t know what to say. It just makes me feel like they don’t want to hear about it, or embarrassed because I’ve made them feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t make sense, but… yeah.

By: megan

megan — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:11:11 +0000

I agree with DJ. The changing of the subject is, I’m betting, always a result of not knowing what to say/do, and never a result of not wanting to know about it. Unless you’re spending a lot of time with dicks. If someone was a dick they might be changing the subject ’cause they don’t want to hear about it. Which, really, is probably good, because, really, do you want the point of view of a dick on something that is so personal and difficult?

By: Erika Schmerika

Erika Schmerika — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:07:51 +0000

You forgot the one “just” word that really does apply here – UNjust. Which it totally, completely, absolutely is. I’m so sorry.

By: DJ

DJ — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:53:02 +0000

I’m sorry you are having a rough night. I don’t think you’re whining at all – and that’s, likely, not the reason people change the subject either – it’s more likely because they have no idea what to say. But, whatever the reason is, it’s infuriating, is it not? As is the “helpful” advice.