I cannot tell a lie

First of all: Happy birthday to my favourite husband ever. Your gift is… me! Aren’t you lucky?

Before I start, I have to say that I was overwhelmed with the kind responses to my last post. Thanks to every single one of you who read and offered support. I tried to email each of you individually; if I didn’t manage please know that what you said absolutely made a difference.

I didn’t know what to do next. After that type of post. I don’t know what to say. Life must go on but I don’t know what to write on the blog. I decided to fall back on that old standby, the meme. This originated on Facebook. I don’t ever do these things on FB, because they’re a pain in the ass, I have a hard time trying to figure out how to write a note, and I don’t like tagging people. I’m doing away with the Question: Answer format, too, because it’s 7:14 am and a dog is licking my ankle. As good a reason as any, I say.

The first question was whether I can do this meme without lying. Okay. So basically I can only answer “Yes” to this. If I’m truthful, I’ll answer yes. If I’m a liar, I’ll lie and answer yes. I mean, c’mon.

The last thing I put in my mouth was a delicious salad made up of Zantac, Reactine, and three Advil. It’s the best way to start your day.

I do text, mostly my inlaws. I think the last person I texted was my mother-in-law. They are constantly clamouring for us to text them more pictures and videos of their “grandbabies” (ha), the dogs. My phone is beautiful for texting, with a full-on QWERTY keyboard, so I don’t mind it.

My default picture on Facebook is one of me taken at the wedding we attended in July. I was all sweaty and crazy-looking, but why not? On any given day it could be a picture of Bea Arthur or one of me when I was three.

The last time I rode in a car with someone under the age of twenty was… you know, I can’t remember? It would have been with one of my nephews or my niece, but I can’t recall which one (there are five of them after all) or when.

So far the only person I’ve seen today is my lovely husband, and he’s asleep like any normal person would be, so no one has made me laugh out loud so far today. He generally does make me laugh every day (yesterday he came running into the room all out of breath and panicky. “Louise! LOUISE! OH MY GOD!” “What is it?!” “I have NIPPLES!” … then he ran out) so I’m going to assume that that will be the case again today. Or maybe, since it’s his birthday, he expects *me* to make *him* laugh. I’d better start working on my comedy routines.

I did stay up late last night – midnight, so that I could say Happy Birthday to Rob, and then awhile longer than that, for good measure.

If I could move somewhere else, in an ideal world and if money were no object, I would definitely keep a house here because it is beautiful here and I love it. So we could live here from, oh, May until the end of October, say. We’d also have a place in Newfoundland so that visiting the inlaws would be possible more than two weeks every couple of years. And the rest of the time would be somewhere warm. Not Hades-warm, but somewhere where we could escape from the constant snowstorms that have been plaguing us here from November to the end of April the past few years.

I’m not sure exactly which Facebook friend of mine lives closest to me. Well, I mean, my husband lives in the same house as me. And I have a bunch of people on there who live in the same town as me, but I’m not measuring the distance between our houses.

I believe exes can be friends, depending on their personalities. In my case I have 3 people I’ve dated on my FB friends’ list. One, admittedly, is there because I want to keep tabs on him and know where he is at all times (so that if he’s ever anywhere near where I am, I have fair warning and can avoid him). The others, though, are there because I genuinely like them and we get along much better now as friends than we ever did in any type of relationship (and I mean, one of them was my boyfriend when I was sixteen, for three months. We never got past holding hands). Of course if Rob were ever to add any of his exes to his friends’ list I would probably go mental, if I’m honest.

You know, I don’t really like talking on the phone. I do try to not be completely antisocial, but I just really prefer either face-to-face or textual communication. Except for the period of time when Rob and I were dating long-distance, when we would be on the phone from 6 pm til midnight most days. It’s that I don’t have the best hearing (or attention span), so being on the phone isn’t awesome for me. I would much rather chat online, or even better, email, where I have a chance to clearly read what the other person has to say (instead of guessing at words) and to think about what I’m writing before hitting send. I have a friend who moved fairly far away recently, and she keeps asking me if I want to Skype. I’ve done it once or twice, but to be perfecty honest, I’m kind of over that.

I like soda, yes. I especially like Dr. Pepper (or, diet Dr. Pepper). My favourite of all time was Cherry Coke, but they don’t seem to make it anymore (or if they do, they don’t sell it anywhere in my vicinity).

The last time I cried really hard was … well, gee, you can probably guess when. It has been a couple of days though. Ça va de mieux en mieux.

My dad is at his new place, probably regretting moving into a smaller space with my mother. Not that they don’t love each other, just that she can be like a wolverine on meth when annoyed and it’s best to give her her space.

I’m in the livingroom, with the laptop, and a dog beside me. The other dog is on his back on the floor, snoring.

I slept in my own bed last night, I’m pretty sure. I mean, that’s where I usually sleep. Although there are times when I fall asleep on the sofa first, and then go up to bed when Rob’s going up.

The last thing someone bought for me was a bath scrubbie thing. Mine got ruined in a curious incident involving rust.

The last photo I took was one of my belly button stitches. But I also used the camera the other night to take video of the thunder and lightning we were having.

It’s very early in the morning, so I have no idea if today is better than yesterday. Yesterday was an okay day, and today is hopefully going to be just that much better.

I can live (and have lived) a day, even a week, without putting the television on at all (for two years in university we didn’t have a TV and basically either rented a movie now and then or went to our friends’ place to watch Friends and ER), but I won’t front: I enjoy TV and am constantly pressuring Rob to hurry up and download Big Brother and True Blood. .

I’m not particularly angry about anything. Well, aside from, you know (have I mentioned that enough? sorry peeps). I’m not sure if that’s anger or just intense sadness.

I think that pretty much every relationship I’ve had has been worth it, if only so that, when I emerged from it, I was wise enough to say “Well, I’ll never do THAT again”.

The last time I was extremely disappointed was … oh gee, just guess.

I can be a bad influence. I have been a bad influence. I’ve grown up. And with my job I pretty much have to be a good influence, or at least try to be.

I’m kind of antisocial, so I don’t generally do “nights out”. Not to say that I never see other people, but usually they come here.

Things I need daily are food and water. And a bathroom. Everything else, I don’t NEED, but a good moisturizer is nice to have.

The last time I visited anyone in the hospital, it was my dad. He’s better now.

The latest text in my cellphone inbox is from my father-in-law, meant for Rob: “Oh, I forgot you cut your hair!”

I’ve been pulled over a few times: I got two speeding tickets when I was 19/20. The last time I was pulled over was two years ago when I had picked Rob up at work at midnight, and the police pulled me over to see if I was drunk. “No, just tired.” I said. They let me go, but followed me all the way home.

If I were given a drug test right now, I would pass. I haven’t ever had any illegal drugs. Ever. I’m a nerd I know.

The song currently stuck in my head is Three Little Birds by Bob Marley. Probably because I heard it in “Funny People” the other day.

If anyone knocks on my window at 2 am I will call the police on them. Unless it’s Zombie Ed McMahon, here to bring me my Publishers Clearinghouse winnings. And even then, I will not let him in (don’t want him eating my brains), but he can slide the giant cheque under the door.

The next meme question asked if I wanted children before I turned thirty. The answer is, yes, I did. I’m 33 now and it’s not gonna happen.

Stuff I have to do today includes birthday cake baking, fancy-supper-cooking, hugging, and uh… possible makeouts.

I sleep in so many different positions that I can’t pick one for here. Last night I tried to sleep on my stomach and it hurt, so I’ve had to give that one up for awhile.

I overthink everything but I figure there are so many people out there who don’t think, that I’m just making up for their thoughtlessness.

The last book I read was Salem Falls, by Jodi Picoult. I’m currently reading two books: Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult (on the fake kindle) and one of the books that my friend Deirdre sent me last week about Tudor England.

I always wear my wedding and engagement ring. I take them off when I’m doing something like kneading bread dough, or having surgery, but I don’t feel right without.

Thirty minutes ago, I was doing this meme. I had to take a break at some point to let Sprocket use the facilities (when the facilities are the tall grass behind the house). I’ve been overthinking what to write here I guess cos this is slow going.

The last person to tell me he loved me was Rob. And he was the last person to show me he loved me, too, by helping me with the blankets in the middle of the night when I was half asleep but pugnacious.

I don’t generally dye my hair, because I haven’t had any hair in about 7 years. But when I did have hair, I’d dye it oh… every six months or so. I was 26 when it fell out so I didn’t need to colour it to cover greys or anything.

I am not currently wearing a necklace. I do wear one sometimes, when I remember. The one I’ve been wearing quite a bit lately has a knitting needle charm on it.

This weekend was pretty good, considering. I stopped with the pain pills, and for the first time in the life of my blog (except maybe when we were doing the blankets-for-charity thing) I got more than 10 comments on a post. Of course it was a post I wish I’d never had to write so that makes it slightly bittersweet.

In the best of all possible worlds, if I could be doing anything I wanted right now, I would be napping.

I had always planned on naming our children family names. Now that that’s not gonna happen… I dunno.

The next meme question was about plans for the summer. I only have two and a half weeks of summer left. And I have no plans.

I don’t think anyone knows my Facebook password. Although maybe Rob does. He pretty much knows everything.

Cake? yes thank you.

The last question asks (again) if I’d lied during the meme. Uh. I’m gonna say no, and if I did, you’ll never know the difference. But I didn’t, I promise. That you know of. Ha! I could do this all day.