Things are falling into place for my surgery. When I met with the doctor he said that the operation would likely take place in September/October, and to book 2 weeks off work for recovery. That freaked me the hell out. Not that recovery would take 2 weeks, but that I had to take 2 weeks off work. If you knew how much I absolutely detest taking time off because I hate prepping for a sub, you would know how the prospect of having to prep for 2 weeks’ worth of subs (most of whom might not speak French – and starting the year on that foot would make it hellish to my guys to speak any French in class once I came back) made me want to saw off my own face.

Anyway, I got a call on Monday from the O.R. booking person, to tell me that I needed to go in Thursday (today) and Friday (tomorrow) for some pre-surgery testing. And that they’d be poking holes in me on July 31st. OH YES JULY 31ST! That means I will not have to do any sub stuff! And that I will be able to lay on the couch all day and not feel guilty about leaving little kids with a stranger!

I booked this afternoon off, and went in to my local hospital for the mysterious tests. They hadn’t actually told me what the tests were for today, and I of course hadn’t thought to ask so I had no clue when I got there as to what would be happening. I registered at the desk. They made me up a hospital bracelet. At this point I started worrying, because don’t you usually get a hospital bracelet when they’re admitting you? Or at least when they’re doing something that they think might kill you, so that they can identify your corpse?
Also: they hadn’t told me to, but I had been fasting since 6 pm yesterday (better safe than sorry is my motto) and it was 1 pm and I WAS HUNGRY.

For the first round of testing, they took my blood. Three vials. The nurse was impressive and didn’t have to put the needle in my hand like last time – she got the blood right out of my arm. And then she cut my bracelet off and told me to go home.

Wait wait… what? By this time, it was 1:05 pm. I very well could have gone back to work (afternoon classes start at 1:15) and not had to give up half of a sick day! But I had already gotten my friend in for the afternoon to sub for me so I couldn’t. Instead, I came home, ate 900 brownies, and prepped for tomorrow’s sub. It won’t be a very difficult day for whoever shows up; I finished up all the curriculum in most of my classes today, so they’ll be watching movies. One class will be getting ready for their STI presentations (they love learning about syphilis! They especially love Google Image Searching syphilis – yeah don’t do it, I warn you). That’s it.

Tomorrow morning I have to be in the not-local hospital (where the surgery will be performed) by 9:20 am, which means we’ll be leaving here around 7:30 am. They want to test me for anesthesia reactions, since I have asthma. I don’t even know what that means. Do they put me to sleep? Do they just give me a tiny dose of the drugs? What do they do? I booked the whole day off for this, because whatever they’re doing, I’m not going to want to go back to work afterward. I am going to want to be a couch burrito and watch BBUK and (shamefacedly) I’m A Celebrity – Get Me Out Of Here! because, well, you-know-who is on there.