The biggest of which is that I will never make our Future Dog ™ wear costumes.
I don’t mean to burst his bubble but as soon as that dog is in my clutches, I will be out purchasing tiny doggie tuxedos, top-hats, and (no pun intended) tails. Humiliating for the dog? What? No way! LOOK AT THIS! You just TRY and tell me that dog isn’t happy. This guy? LOVES his suit! You can see it in his eyes. And this dog is totally overjoyed with the outfit his human chose for him.
So Rob? I’m sorry, but this whole “our pet won’t be wearing anything but a collar” thing just won’t hold water.
I had to take my class to the computer lab to work on a project. There was a bit of a giggly “duuuude” commotion in the corner and I noticed that one guy was on a website for what looked like burlesque dancers or something. Now, there was nothing naked; the department blocks pretty much everything (in fact I can’t go to Y’s blog on my lunch hour because the department classifies it as “gambling/pornography”), but still. I went over and asked him what he was looking at, and why (the assignment was to talk about things they have done with family and friends that have been positive and made them feel closer). “I was writing about the trip we took for my birthday two years ago and wanted to find the hotel we stayed at!”.
The kid was looking at a list of Vegas hotels. So either he was straight up lying to me, or his parents took him to Las Vegas for his 10th birthday. I thought maybe one of the more family-friendly hotels in LV, but no, no. It was one where, he said, his parents would leave he and his sister in the hotel room to sleep while they went downstairs to the casino all night.
Um. Okay. I’m sure that made for enormous amounts of family closeness.
In other work news, I was supposed to chaperone a dance tonight, but my left ear has been weird the past couple of days. Any loud noise makes it… I don’t know how to explain. Pop and crackle and ring. Sort of like tinnitus, I guess, from what I understand tinnitus involves. For me, it’s a sign of an ear infection. I got out my trusty ol’ drops (the ENT and I are on friendly terms; I’ve been in his office more often since I was 12 than any other patient he has. He rebuilt my eardrums when I was 14) and have been self-medicating, but it’s going to take a few days. So 3 hours of loud music is not something I want to subject myself to. Of course this means I will be chaperoning the last dance of the year, which goes until midnight instead of 9 pm… Okay that’s six weeks in the future. Who knows what might happen between now and then? Not that I would wish another earache on myself or anything. Oh no, certainly not. Especially not one timed six weeks from today. Nope.
The sirens went on last night til past 10. I’m not sure what time they stopped because at some point I had thrown a pillow over my head to block out the noise and must have partially suffocated myself. During my time under there, my lack of oxygen had me thinking up all kinds of exciting and interesting ideas about how to get them to stop. I think my favourite was to put on a sexy mini dress and go over and try to convince them to stop. Better yet, have my husband put on a sexy mini dress and have him go over and try to convince them to stop.
I did eventually fall asleep (Benadryl helped), though, so there was no need for a costume party. But now I know what to do next time all this blaring starts up again. Of course Rob will need shoes to match… anyone know where we can find black pumps in men’s size 13W?
Near where we live, there is a police academy (no Steve Guttenberg jokes please. Wait. *Are* there any Steve Guttenberg jokes? Is that guy even funny?). It’s not uncommon to see the recruits jogging about in the morning, or at the corner store, buying chips and toilet paper, in their dark blue uniforms replete with plastic guns in the holsters. It’s fine, they’re fine, whatever. All winter, they were actually sort of a pleasure to have around – they kept certain areas of the park well-shoveled and were very helpful if people needed help pushing their cars out of a snowbank. Not that that ever happened to us. It DIDN’T!
But now?
Now I wish they would just graduate and go the heck home. Why? Because once Spring comes, the recruits, they start practicing… well, basically driving back and forth, with the sirens and lights blaring. I suppose it’s something they have to do, but they practice it about a mile behind my house, on the old airfield. And it looks (and sounds) like this:
It’s currently 9:15 pm. This has been going on since approximately 6 pm. And will continue until 10 pm, or a bit later. They do this at least once a week. Some weeks, 2 or 3 times. Always at night. Always 6 or 7 cars, sirens blaring, driving back and forth, back and forth, for hours. What you saw there was 21 seconds. Imagine at least 4 hours of it. Constantly. They. Don’t. Stop.
I realize that 9:15 isn’t extremely late, but this is my bedtime. And I know there are people on my street who have young children, who might be trying to sleep right now. Yes, we’ve complained to the property manager, and to the police academy, but they haven’t done anything at all… they can’t really, as long as they quiet down by 10. And usually, they do… although last week it was past 10:30 by the time they finally cut it out. But I mean, what are we supposed to do about it? Call the police on them?
Heh.
(No, not moving. Aside from the month of the year where this goes on, I love the location of our house)
I have been having the weirdest sleeps. On Friday evening (after the dog-hugging incident), I took a Benadryl to get rid of the hives on my neck. I was asleep on the couch by 6:45 pm. Of course, that meant waking up and being wide awake by 3:15 am on Saturday morning.
Did you know how much you can get done when no one is awake? Not all that much, really, because no one else is awake to help you. But I did some laundry and answered emails. My friend wrote to me to see if I knew of any diet pills that work because she’s going on a trip this summer and wants to lose like, 25 lbs. I told her that if I did, I wouldn’t look the way I do, and to be truthful with all the news of a drug that had previously been thought safe not being so… yeah I couldn’t actually recommend anything.
Oh, and we got our grocery shopping done at 7 am. I don’t know how happy Rob was with being dragged out of the house at 6:45 but then we had the rest of the day free for… okay honestly I ended up taking a nap from 11 am – 2 pm. Don’t judge me!
So last night, I was asleep by 9 pm (the norm these days). And I was up at 5:45. On Sunday morning. I have watched two episodes of Harper’s Island (Scary! And Henry from Ugly Betty is on it, but with shaggy hair and no glasses! I missed him! I hope he doesn’t get cut in half! PS I think Ugly Betty’s new rich boyfriend is dumb and I want Henry to come back) and it’s only 7 am now.
BUT
Whereas yesterday was rainy, grey, and miserable, today is supposed to be sunny and warm so I will probably start taking junk out of my garden (and by junk, I mean all the plants I left to die there last year). And then, I will probably nap. Napping is A-OK with me.
1) Thank you to the 4 or 5 people who sent some links my way. Most were really awesome. I wasn’t looking for pictures like you see in Star magazine of stars looking awful without makeup – I didn’t want the kids to think “Oh, he/she is ugly!” because that’s not the point I’m trying to get across. I was looking for pictures of celebrities looking NORMAL. Flawed, yes. And that’s what you sent in. So thank you!
2) Speaking of the negative body-image… I’m still trying to get a picture of the new wig where my face doesn’t look all crazy. But, it seems that for the past three days, my face has just been looking crazy and that’s the way it is, so you can look here if you want to see. Because I know how exciting that can be.
3) I have been waking up without the alarm for the past month or so. And waking up at approximately the same time, too, no matter what time I’ve gone to bed. Maybe it’s a sign of maturity! Oh wait no, that couldn’t be.
