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May, 2009

  1. Reasons why we don’t just move, already.

    May 17, 2009 by Louise

    So, once a week, this happens. And it’s annoying. And on those nights, when I have my pillow over my head trying to sleep, I think “GAH WE SHOULD MOVE SOMEWHERE THAT ISN’T AROUND HERE BECAUSE THE SIRENS THEY ARE CRAZY!”

    And then, there are days like yeterday, when I get to stay in the backyard all day, check out the bird’s nest that’s up in one of our trees (I don’t hate birds if they’re not flying really close to me), plant my vegetable garden, put in a flower bed, and see dudes like this passing through:


  2. Don’t you know?

    May 15, 2009 by Louise

    This has been in my head for the past three days:

    Nothing to do with my dad, but boy, what an informative song! And the video’s pretty cool, too.


  3. erm…

    May 14, 2009 by Louise

    I got an email with my sub from yesterday, by the way. Apparently the field trip went well, although one kid (male) called another (male) a MILF on the bus. I won’t link to what that means, if you don’t know. You can google. Don’t do an image search, though.

    As for the rest of my lesson plan – she didn’t really mention it other than “the morning went well”, so I assumed that she just followed what I’d put down. I had actual lessons planned for the morning. Because there’s stuff that needs to be taught. Then I asked my students about what they learned yesterday. Apparently I went through all that trouble for nothing. I should just install some kind of home theatre seating in my classroom for days when I’m not here, because instead of following my lesson plan, she let them watch Bend It Like Beckham.

    Um. Okay. To say that I’m not particularly pleased would be an understatement.


  4. And now because I don’t want to keep staring at that other post

    by Louise

    I will write a new post on an entirely unrelated subject. Because I am great at denial! Is it denial? When you just want to ignore a problem, and pretend it doesn’t exist? I mean I don’t want to pretend my dad doesn’t exist. I just want to not constantly worry about him today. Which I’m going to anyway, who am I kidding, but uhm… yeah. I have no idea where I was going with this. So here is a story!

    I worked at a department store through high school and for the summer after high school. Mainly I was just a clerk, stocking shelves and making sure little kids didn’t destroy the toy department where their parents left them to entertain themselves while they went off looking at the lawnmowers or whatever. Seriously, people would leave 3-year-olds alone, and just wander off. I can’t tell you the number of crying kids I had to take to the front of the store and make an announcement when they realized that their parents hadn’t come back for them. And the number of annoyed parents who eventually made their way to the customer service desk, snatched up their kids, and were like “Why didn’t you just stay where I put you? I was only gone for a minute!”. Three and four year olds don’t have any concept of “a minute”. And, like I said, I was there. It was more like half an hour.

    The summer after high school, I finally got promoted to cashier. I still had to stock shelves when there was a lull, but that summer the store had renovated so it was usually pretty busy. Now, this was in the early 90s. Before barcode scanners, before Interac at the checkout… you know, back in the Dark Ages. In fact, there wasn’t an ATM (I hate when people say “ATM Machine”. It’s redundant. You’re actually saying “Automatic Teller Machine Machine”) in our entire mall at this point in time. People were still going to the bank and standing in line to withdraw cash. They used cheques and when we put their credit cards through, we had to use one of those little machines that make a copy of the card using carbon paper (they’re so old-style that I couldn’t find a picture of one online anywhere).

    So. One day a lady came by with a ton of merchandise. I actually remember pretty much every item, because there were A LOT of them, and because of the whole no barcode scanner thing, we had to punch in every single SKU by hand. The total came to over $300. $347.93, to be exact. So I ring everything up, and she pulls out a government cheque to pay with it all. There are signs up everywhere saying that we will only accept government cheques if the cheque is made out to you, and you are able to provide 2 forms of ID, and one of them has to be a photo ID. I ask her for her ID. First of all, the cheque is made out to Jonathan something. Secondly, she was only able to show me her Social Insurance number card, which is not a photo ID, and her name wasn’t Jonathan. I told her I was sorry, but I couldn’t cash that cheque. She started yelling at me. Like seriously Whitney Houston crazy screaming. My manager came over to see what was up, and he, also, told her that we couldn’t cash that cheque for her. She wanted to know where the nearest automatic teller was. We told her that it was in the bank, across the street. She said she would never come into this store again, and stormed off. (evidently she was Not Happy that she had to leave our store to go to another place to get money). Anyway. I had to cancel her order, which meant punching each of those items in again one by one, and cancelling them. It took a long time. Then I had to call one of the clerks to come and start putting all her stuff back on the shelves. I was super-busy though, so I never noticed when they came to take the items, and how many they took at a time. They, too, were pretty occupied with some disaster in the pet food aisle.

    Lo and behold, about an hour later, Not-Jonathan comes back in. Saunters up to my checkout, throws down a bunch of cash, and tells me she wants her stuff back. I tell her that I’m pretty sure that a couple of things had already been put back on the shelves, would she care to look at what was left and go and get whatever it was that had been put back? She glances at the pile of stuff and says that no, it looked like everything was there. Okay, fine.

    I punch everything back through and give her her total. $325.74 . “THAT’S NOT THE TOTAL YOU TOLD ME BEFORE!” Not-Jonathan screams. “No, ma’am, like I said, a couple of your items have been put back on the shelves, because we weren’t aware that you would be coming back in. If you want to go and pick them up–”. “You were trying to rip me off before! You were trying to get more money from me before! You were going to keep my money!” “No, ma’am, I’m sorry, but you did have a few more things in your last order than you do in this one.” People are staring, my manager is watching with a bemused grin on his face (he was only like, five years older than I was, and had been teasing me all summer that one day I would get The Customer from Hell and I wouldn’t be able to handle it). “I’m going to call the police! I’m going to call the police!”… and she grabs her cart and her receipt, and takes off toward the exit. I notice that she had paid me $330, and that she hadn’t taken the $4.26 in change that I was holding out to her. Something snapped – I guess I was just out of patience at that point. It had been a long day. So I yelled across the store “Lady, do you want your f*cking change or not?!”

    You know in movies when there’s that sound like a needle being pulled across a record and everyone turns to stare? Yeah.

    Not-Jonathan turned around, stomped back to me, snatched her change out of my hand, and left. Silently. The next person in line, after I gave her my sunny smile and “Hi, thank you for shopping at bla bla, did you find everything you were looking for?” said “I would have smacked that woman. I don’t know how you manage to work with people like that”.

    And I didn’t get fired. Like, my manager was standing right there when this all happened, and he didn’t fire me. He did, however, tell me that today I got a 20-minute break instead of 15, and bought me a Coke, so that was nice.


  5. Update on dad

    by Louise

    Here’s a little dad update, courtesy of an email my mom sent to the whole family at about 11 last night (3 of my dad’s sisters are nurses and they wanted to know exactly what was up):

    Just finished talking to a nurse in ICU. He only has the whole blood IV going now, all the others are off. He will get more blood tests for hemoglobin once this unit of blood is done. He is not coughing as much and much less blood since 9 PM. His hemoglobin was near normal this morning and went down real fast after lunch when they checked his blood again so they put him on whole blood. They had him on antibiotics to make sure he would not develop a pulmonary infection. He is scheduled for more tests once they stabilize him. I warned the nurse that his aorta is backward so if they check on X-rays they will not see the tear in it. That is why he was so long before they diagnosed him last time. I told the nurse I wanted a call when they get the result of the next blood test, no matter what time of the night as I will have a phone beside the bed. He was asleep but when he wakes up she will tell him I called. He no longer has a fever (hew had a low grade fever on admission). I’ll call again when I get up in the morning. I’m off to bed now, hopefully I’ll be able to sleep a little.

    So… he’s doing okay, but is still sort of in the woods. I know it could be worse. He could have mesothelioma or any number of other fatal conditions. But he’s my dad, and he’s not doing okay, and that’s not okay with me. Thank you for your good thoughts and comments on my last post – they mean a whole lot.


  6. Please

    May 13, 2009 by Louise

    I have to tell you the beginning of the story.

    Today was my appointment to see the doctor about my surgery. I got up at 6, searched frantically for my health card once I realized it wasn’t in my wallet, didn’t find it, phoned my parents’ (at 7:30, I’m not a complete jerk) to see if it had maybe fallen out of my wallet last time I was there, and it hadn’t, or at least, Mom hadn’t seen it. The next hour was spent freaking the heck out, because this was a new doctor, and they won’t see you for a first appointment without your health card. It took 5 months to get this appointment; I didn’t want to have to cancel! I talked to Mom again at about 8:30, when she called to suggest that I just go to my regular doctor and get my health card number from them. This is the reason why moms are moms – they are smart and they have answers. I meanwhile am 32 (almost 33) and am still living like a 9-year-old (well, except I’m married for reals, yo).

    My appointment was only at 11, but it was an hour’s drive away, so we left the house at 9 (I know, that means we would get to the other town at 10, but we had other things to do as well, like stop at the bank and stuff before we were on our way). I stopped at my doctor’s office, we stopped to put gas in the car, and off we went. Rob drove through the relatively complicated streets of the city, and we finally made it to the doctor’s office and – amazing luck – found parking right beside the building. He put 2 hours’ worth of change in the meter because this could be a long appointment.

    When we arrived at the office, I checked in with the receptionist (who at first was on the phone talking to someone named Shana, and telling her to “do what she had to do”, but then she finally got off the phone and talked to ME), and she looked around all confused for like, 10 minutes, at different books and schedules and computer programs, and then finally said “Oh, I’m sorry… we tried to call you about half an hour ago, but you must have already left. The doctor couldn’t be in today, so we’ve moved your appointment to the 26th”.

    Um, okay. So we basically wasted 2 hours’ driving time in the car, round-trip, and I wasted a sick day. On nothing. So we came home.

    My fury, people!

    But then. At about 2:30 today my mother called to tell me that my father was in the hospital. He has had a cold the past couple of days. This morning, soon after the last time I spoke to them, he was coughing and started either vomiting blood or just coughing it up – Mom couldn’t really tell. Either way, blood coming in copious amounts out of your mouth? Not a good sign.

    My father has not been enjoying the best of health these past few years, as most of you probably know. My siblings and I worry about him constantly. He hates that, and hates the fact that he’s not in the best shape, but 40 years of cigarettes (he quit around 10 years ago) plus the fact that both of his parents had heart problems have left their mark. We don’t think he should still be working – and he doesn’t really need to, he has a good pension and so does my mother – but he won’t quit. His father retired, and two years later he died. I’m sure that’s what’s foremost in his mind.

    So, even though I was really upset at the time, and angry that I had wasted a sick day and I could’ve been on that field trip to the sewage treatment plant right then!!!… it was kind of a good thing that this mixup at the doctor’s office happened. If I had been at work, I wouldn’t have been home to get Mom’s call. I immediately went to the hospital (when she called, he was in the ER). At the ER, they told me that he’d been moved to Intensive Care. They wouldn’t tell me anything else. They told me that I couldn’t see him right away, because they were getting him settled. That’s when I spent my time in the hospital chapel. No one else was in there, so I had a good 45 minutes of just sitting there staring and thinking “Please.” I couldn’t think anything else. No cohesive prayers, nothing. Just “Please.”

    When I was finally allowed in to see him, he was sitting up in his bed, awake and alert, and not happy to be in the hospital. He’s in the same room in the ICU that Rob was in a few years ago when he nearly died from the flu. Anyway. Dad explained to me what had happened – I wasn’t sure, so I asked if it was his lungs (earlier this year he had a pneumothorax). It wasn’t his lungs.

    Because of his blood pressure and other things, he takes a blood thinning medication. He goes in once a month for a blood test, to make sure that the medication is at the proper level – it’s supposed to be between 2.5 and 3.5. The last time he was in (April 27th), it was at 3, which is a normal level. He started getting a cold this weekend, and has been coughing for the past couple of days. Something happened this morning, and the coughing caused a blood vessel to burst. He lost a lot of blood. A LOT. When they tested his blood at the ER, the level of medication in his blood was at 8. He’s receiving blood transfusions, as well as antibiotics and something else because he’s also slightly dehydrated. He was pretty tired when I was there, so I only stayed about 20 minutes. My brother was going in to see him later tonight. And he keeps saying that he’s fine, but he just looks so weak. And is still coughing up and spitting out blood. And I love him.

    So, that’s what’s going on around here. I am going to go back to work tomorrow and some of those kids will be like “What? You haven’t corrected our tests yet?” and I will say “SUCK IT KIDDO”. That is my lesson plan for the day.


  7. AND

    May 11, 2009 by Louise

    Today a coworker came to see me. “I noticed that you have a prep on Wednesday right after lunch, and then you have the 8s and I need someone to come with me while I take the 8s on a field trip . And since you have them then, will you come with me?” She gave a few more details. Well of course I want to give up half my lunch hour and my prep to accompany a bunch of teenagers to the sewage treatment plant! La dee da! OF COURSE I DO! So I said yes, and went about my business.
    Then at lunchtime, I checked my email.

    And there was one from the person I’d booked to sub for me on Wednesday.

    So I do NOT have to go to the sewage treatment plant on Wednesday! Instead, I go to Charlottetown, where I meet with the doctor about this surgery I’m supposed to have sometime. Hopefully he books it for this summer because I hate prepping for a sub.


  8. Pokey little puppy

    by Louise

    I’m slow.
    Not, like, short-bus, just… not fast. It’s no big revelation; I’ve always been slow to everything. As a child, I was always the last one left at the table. Not because I hated the food and refusing to eat it; just because I was a slow eater.
    Driving? Well… yeah, I don’t usually go all that much over the speed limit (although I have gotten 2 speeding tickets in my life, so I guess I’m not that averse to it). When it’s time to make decisions, I take my time. Sometimes too much time.
    So it should come as no surprise to me that I am the World’s Slowest Walker.
    It’s weird – when I do those Walk Away the Pounds videos (RANDY!), I can keep up; I do my mile in 15 minutes, 4 miles in an hour. I think those tapes are misleading, though, because I go out of the house and walk and I manage… 2.54 miles per hour. Sometimes 2.57. I’ve never gone any faster than that (at least, not in the time that I’ve actually been trying to keep track). Possibly the tapes are easier because I’m not going up hills or trying to avoid tripping on the super-uneven sidewalks or, in the parts of our neighbourhood that don’t have sidewalks (which is like, everywhere), not trying to avoid falling into the huge frickin potholes that are everywhere. I swear. Tomorrow I’ll bring my camera and you’ll see.

    So yeah. I’m very slow. Very, very slow. I’m thinking anyone else in the world including newborn babies can walk faster than me. It’s okay though. I take in the view along the way.


  9. The Regulator

    May 9, 2009 by Louise

    I think that DJ is about the only person who reads this blog daily anymore, or comments (with the exception of Lori, yesterday – hi Lori!). And I’ve already told her this story, so it might be redundant, but whatever.

    I’m teaching Health right now. There are different curricula for the 3 grades, but basically the themes are the same. Healthy Living (sleep, food, exercise, self esteem, body image etc.), Wellness Choices (drug/alcohol awareness, gr. 9′s have a “safety at work” unit as well), Healthy Relationships (which includes sexual health – gr. 7′s learn about the parts, and puberty, that’s it. Gr. 8′s review that stuff and learn more in detail about pregnancy/reproduction. Gr. 9′s get a review of that past stuff, and they learn about STI’s and date rape, plus their parents can allow them to opt in or out of the safer sex talk).

    ANYWAY. Yesterday in my grade 9 class, we were talking about drugs and alcohol. They had a questionnaire giving statements about drug/alcohol use and they had to put whether they thought those statements were true or false. Afterwards we discussed what the truth about each statement was (ie: “If I get caught with a joint or drinking, the police can’t charge me because of my age”).

    So this brought the conversation around to what the penalties are for drug/alcohol possession for youth in our province. Now I have to say that I truly believe that the kids in this particular class are not prone to wanting to even try drugs or alcohol – they have all said “I think that stuff is stupid”, but they still need to know this stuff because hey, you never know, and knowledge is power.

    One of the guys asked how come in some places the drinking age is lower than others, and I told them that it all depends on the government of that particular province or country. Then another guy asked if it was true that there were some countries where it was legal to smoke pot. I said, again, that every country has their own laws. “So if I was in a country where it was legal to smoke pot, and I did, could the RCMP come and arrest me?” (again, I fully believe that this was all purely academic – from what I can tell, these particular kids are not interested in any of this stuff right now) “No, I don’t think that the RCMP would be able to do that,” I answered.

    Of course then this guy wanted to know WHICH countries had lower drinking ages or had decriminalized the use of drugs. I told him I didn’t really know all of them, I only know the laws for here in Canada. He thinks a minute.

    “Wait. Who does the North Pole belong to?”
    “What did we learn in Social Studies?” (I know, always the teacher – I teach these kids S.S. 3/4 of the school year, so I like for them to use that knowledge every now and then).

    “Uh… no one really owns the North Pole. Right?” “Close enough, right.”

    “So if I went up to the North Pole and smoked a joint, no one would be able to stop me! Because it doesn’t belong to anyone!”

    And then.

    The girl sitting next to him turned to him and said, all indignantly (please remember that these are 14-year-olds): “YOU are WRONG! Because SANTA CLAUS could stop you!”

    And he thought for a second, got a defeated look on his face, and said… “Oh. Yeah.”


  10. Numb3rs

    May 7, 2009 by Louise

    Six glorious weeks. That’s how long is left until my vacation. Six.

    Let’s look at some more numbers:

    10. Ten more days until I can safely plant my garden.

    10 (again). Ten dollars for ten cubic… something huge. Of compost. For the garden.

    3. Three days til Mother’s Day (my parents have an above-ground pool that they set up every summer – the ghetto pool – and we are going to get her some pool supplies to celebrate the fact that she can safely set it up at the beginning of June).

    1 1/2. One and a half (ish?) months until I turn 33 (yes, I’m sort of hyperventilating).

    Six: the number of years I’ve been blogging (holy crap).

    18. Eighteen more days until my appointment with the dude about my surgery.

    10000000 : the percentage I love my husband.