On Tuesday, I get to go in (again) and see about this surgery I’m supposed to have. I have all kinds of scenarios running through my mind, none of them good:
1) The doctor will not be there, again, and I’ll have wasted ANOTHER sick day on nothing. In that case I will go nuts because hi, two hours round trip! NO THANK YOU.
2) There will be some kind of horrible road thing on the way there (now is the time for construction) and it will make me three hours late although I usually leave 2 hours early, and they will tell me to never come back because obviously I can’t respect their appointment times and who wants me around if that’s the way I am? Not them! In which case I will go nuts, again, because… why not go nuts?
3) The doctor will look at me and say “You are Fat! You need to lose 4000 pounds before I can do this surgery, you big fat lady!” in which case he’d better prescribe some amazing fat burner pills because I’m not managing to lose much through diet and exercise.
4) BEES! KILLER BEES!
So yes. I am pretty nervous, and pretty… I’m not sure what. I kind of look forward to it, in a perverse way. Because then at least we will know what is wrong and what our options are. At the same time, I’m terrified at what those results might be. I mean, what if there are gnomes in there?
I guess I will never know until it actually happens though. And maybe the gnomes are friendly.
I understand how you want to know and yet are terrified to know all at the same time. It’s not a fun feeling, for sure. I’m hoping the best for you!