I got a call from my RE’s office today to tell me that I have an appointment with an OBGYN (presumably the one who would do the surgery). On October 10th.

Here’s what happened yesterday, for those of you who are interested (also – images!). I’m about to get all graphic up in here so look away if you’re squeamish.

First I had to take everything off and wear a johnny shirt and robe. Then walk through the hallway in my j-shirt and robe, hoping my butt wasn’t showing. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t. Got into the x-ray room, and there was my RE! She was wearing a fancy lead suit so as not to be exposed to the x rays! It was all very stylish. She complimented me on my socks (I wear silly socks – it amuses me). Then down to business. Speculum – okay, not bad. Clamp on my cervix to hold it open – UUUUUUUUUGH. RE said that my cervix “moves beautifully”, whatever that means (should I maybe submit it to Dancing with the Stars? I’m sure my cervix could out-foxtrot Kim Kardashian any day) . Then a cone-like thing was put in there, for putting the medical dye through with. Fun. Wait, not fun. PAINFUL.

Then, with all this stuff just kind of hanging out of my body, and RE hanging out RIGHT THERE, we had to wait 10 minutes for the x-ray technician to show up and start taking pictures. Here is how that conversation went:
“So, Louise, do you think we’re going to get this storm they’re predicting for tonight? (I am right here and so is YOUR VAGINA)”.
“Oh, I don’t know – last time they predicted a storm we got nothing, and I had my hopes up for having a day at work to do paperwork but it didn’t happen (also, how are you enjoying hanging around with MY VAGINA?)”.

Now before we go further I will show you what a regular HSG looks like, if nothing’s blocked and everything’s working properly. I have a hard time putting images on here so it might look all wonky. What happens is that they put dye up through the cervix, and then that dye pretty rapidly goes through the fallopian tubes and out through the ends, escaping into the “body cavity”. So here’s an x-ray of that, which I got off the Internet:

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SO, tomorrow I get to take the afternoon off and let the doctor shoot dye through my innards.

FUN!

I never realized how weird it would be for me to be scrolling through Facebook and see something completely unexpected. In this case it was my boss’ boss’ boss (so, like, my uberboss) partying with a highschool friend of mine who is… well… not someone you’d think The Uberboss would hang out with.
Goes to show you never can tell.

It’s been awhile since I’ve checked my typing speed and I got curious, so I headed over to calculatorcat.com and took their typing test.

This is a fluke – I’m usually in the mid-80s.

I’m glad pretty much every day that I took that “computer” class (really it was glorified typing) in high school. It was very useful, especially in university when I was typing everyone’s papers for $2/page.

Alrighty folks, this is the time when I’m gonna do something that I NEVER do on this blog (ha!) and I’m gonna probably give you too much informations about my Lady Business.

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You know what? Things have been really, really, extremely shitty around here since August. Seriously, 100% Not Good. Well, the part that’s me and Rob? Totally good. Everything else? Teh Suck. And (I think) I haven’t complained about it too much on the old blog (correct me if I’m wrong).

And, while things are still not… great… I can safely say that maybe? Maybe things are starting to look up.

Must add, because I just realized exactly *how* cryptic this is: Nope, still not pregnant.

So this was down for like, three days before we even noticed it. And then I was like “Oh crap, maybe I should fix that!”. I fully 100% blame my ADD for this one, and I feel no shame.

… stolen from John Green.

Type in the terms below, and give the results.

Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search.

A:
Louise needs professional help (live)!

or

Mum knows what Baby Louise needs.

Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search.

Louise looks like she has soft silky fur!

or

Louise looks like quite a curator.

Type in “[your name] says” in Google search.

no results

Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search.

Louise wants Posh’s post-baby belly

or

Louise wants more money

(both of which are true)

Type in “[your name] does” in Google search.

Official: Louise does NOT kill herself!
(Phew! That’s good news!)

Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search.

LOUISE hates most of what life has to offer, especially her job and is desperate for a way out.

Type in “[your name] asks” in Google search.

At a lull in the discussion, Louise asks, “Do you agree with everything you saw in the movie?”

Type in “[your name] likes ” in Google search.

Louise likes Stevie Wonder’s music, and also the Brand New Heavies.

Type in “[your name] eats ” in Google search.

Louise eats ghosts

Type in “[your name] wears ” in Google search.

Louise wears a white/silver gown with white gloves to above the elbow, ….. Louise wears a red romper with black stockings and suspenders and black high heels.

Holy macanoli, what kind of secret life do I lead?

Q: Type in “[your name] was arrested for” in Google Search.

Louise was arrested for being responsible for Jonny’s shooting. Louise was arrested for firing a gun as part of a New Years celebration.

Type in “[your name] loves” in Google Search.

Louise loves to kayak and cycle and walk by the ocean.

Louise loves Obama.

Louise loves being in China and learning Mandarin.