So at around 5:30 this morning I wake up feeling a certain urge. Up I get, and start to make my way down the stairs, to visit the loo – and next thing I know I’m full-on falling, no clue what I slipped on, crashing into the wall on the way down and finally landing full-weight (and this? is a LOT of weight, people) on my left knee and shin. My knee is all scratched up and crazy-looking, not to mention painful and swelly and bruised here and there. My shoulder hurts, too, where I smacked it on the wall. But? I absolutely can’t miss work today so I will have to wait ’til this evening if I want to try and see a doctor about it. My solution? Vodka.

Okay not really. Advil.