SHOPPING!

I love giving gifts to others. I don’t love when a gift I give turns out to be something they hate and later discover they have hidden it away. Certain family members of mine are notorious for this; for example last year I gave them an admittedly large photo of their kids, and upon subsequent visits to their home, haven’t seen it anywhere. Sure, maybe a photo of their kids just wasn’t to their taste but I mean… people give me stuff, they come visit, I at least say “Oh, the Crucified Jesus candelabra you gave us for our wedding! We found the perfect spot for that in our bedroom!”, if I don’t actually take it out and set it up somewhere where they can see it right in the open. PS yes we did get a Crucified Jesus Candelabra as a wedding gift, you thought I was making that up? I’m Catholic for the love of Pete. OF COURSE we got a Crucified Jesus Candelabra! Because if there’s one thing Jesus loves after a long day of being crucified, it’s hot candle wax dripping down over his head.

Anyway. This year I am determined that everyone is going to like the Christmas gifts we give them. Rob’s parents, we’re pretty much decided on what they’re getting (in fact, half their gift is already on its way to them) and we know they will love their gifts because, well, they are easy to buy for (aside from last year when we bought them plane tickets to come visit us and they ended up not being able to use them because Rob’s mom hurt her back and the tickets, they were non-refundable, so that kind of really sucked, and then the gifts we had bought for them that were under our tree waiting for them to be here for Christmas, well, we mailed them off, but they didn’t get there till after Christmas, and Rob’s mom was like “People are asking me what I got for Christmas from you guys and I have to say nothing yet, even though Christmas is over” and Rob was all seething saying “UM HOW ABOUT THE FRICKIN PLANE TICKETS WE SPENT MOST OF OUR HOLIDAY BUDGET ON” only he wouldn’t say it to them because that’s not polite and oh, Christmas. Why does it cause such strife?). It’s my unwieldy family that, once again, is causing the problems (note to my sneaky family members who I have ASKED SEVERAL TIMES not to read this blog but who are reading it anyway because you don’t respect me at all — of course I don’t mean YOU’RE causing problems. You would NEVER). We have set a limit on how much we can spend on each “branch” of my family– basically $50-$75 per family. That means $50-$75 split between my mom and dad, $50-$75 for my sister’s family (her and three kids), and $50 – $75 for my brother’s family (he, his wife, and their two kids). I realize that doesn’t sound like a tonne of money, but dude. We’re not rich, AT ALL.

My sister wants to sell her house, but before doing that, needs to do some repair work. Thinking maybe we’ll get her a gift card for Canadian Tire or something and she can buy paint or whatever she wants to do. This leaves my two nephews (18 and 15) and niece (whose 13th birthday is also on the 25th, so that means TWO gifts for her). No clue. Not a clue what to get for them.

My brother and sister-in-law? Again, no clue. They gave us a framed photo of their family last year, and there’s no way I’m giving them another photo of their kids only to have it disappear into… wherever. Their two little boys are easier, because they’re two and four, so they just like toys. And I like giving toys (although, again, in the past I have given them hand-knit teddy bears, etc., never to see them again. So um… yeah. Fisher Price it is). So that’s half that family done.

And my parents? THEY ARE SIXTY AND THEY HAVE EVERYTHING THEY NEED. Plus, does anyone else have a mom like mine? ‘Mom, what would you like for Christmas/your birthday/your 35th wedding anniversary ?’ ‘Oh, nothing. You being there is enough of a gift’. I’m sorry people but you invented me, you put up with me living in your house for 18+ years, you’re going to get a gift goddamnit.

YOU WILL TAKE MY CHRISTMAS GIFTS AND YOU WILL ENJOY THEM OR WE WILL KILL YOU!!!

(I am grumpy today. I love my family. I love Rob’s family. Please to not say anything rude about them).

THEN I have to buy for Rob. Which I love doing, because I love him… but this year he has only said that he wants books. That makes my shopping either really easy or really hard, depending on how you look at it. If I just get him the books on his wish list, well, great, that’s easy shopping for me, BUT. He’ll have absolutely no surprises for Christmas. If I go off the beaten track and buy, say, a few books and some Cat5E products and ummm… a cowboy hat? I run the risk of him NOT liking what he gets and it’s kind of hard for him to hide things from me in my own house. “Rob, where is that knitted wang cover I made you? You SAID you loved it!” “I found the perfect spot for it! It’s in the bedroom!” “I HAVE BEEN IN THE BEDROOM IT IS NOT IN THE BEDROOM LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAAAAAAAAAR!”.

Strife I say!
(I would just say screw it and buy everyone gift cards but my mom and dad hate gift cards for some reason and I heard a program on the radio about how gift cards are like, the worst gift in the world and you shouldn’t ever give them and who am I to contradict the CBC?)