That right there is a really poorly-taken photo of my belly. Plus a bit of my (blue, but in this photo for some reason, purple) underpants.

Can you see the incipient bruise? Look hard. See it now?

I made it myself. As I was dashing out the door this morning (late, as usual), I managed to somehow wack my belly/hipbone/fallopian tubes on the frickin doorknob. And, you know, I was going really fast. So I hit it really hard.

Clumsiness is one trait I would give up in a second, I swear.