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July, 2007

  1. I have a soggy husband

    July 20, 2007 by Louise

    It’s 4:32 am. I haven’t been to sleep yet, but I’m in bed, at least, right?

    Rob’s schedule has my sleeping all weird. See, because he works from 5 pm til 1 am, and so I stay up, then I can’t sleep after!

    I don’t think this post is making a lot of sense.

    Rob took a shower. Then he got in bed. He’s soggy. And he’s SNUGGLING me with his sog on. hahahaha. He just saw me type that and he said “Oh! Just when I think I have figured out your ways, you change them!”… and then, I said “You don’t get to talk, sogsmo!”.

    yep, that’s what goes on around here. Witty repartee.

    Oh! I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow (today)! Fun! The girly kind of appointment, with the scraping and the prodding. I love it! What? Yeah, you’re right. I don’t REALLY love it. In fact, I really UN-love it, but it’s gotta be done. All the preparation bothers me, though. With the leg-shaving and the spit-shining and the sparkles and balloons and such (what? I’m the only one with the balloons?)… I am definitely going to make sure to have non-smelly feet when I go. Because… well, because if women make sure to get their ladybits all fancy for the doctor, but they ignore the fact that they have reeking cheese-feet which are right there in the stirrups, RIGHT by THE DOCTOR’S FACE well, I bet the doctors don’t appreciate it. That is my PSA for today. Anyone who has to be in the stirrups? WASH YOUR FEET. Unless you hate your doctor. But my doc? She has been my doctor since I was five, and I don’t want to make her sad. And I mean, how would you feel if there were stinkofeet right there in your face? Not so cheerful, I betcha.

    Um, okay. So this is one of those posts that one probably looks back on and thinks “Hey! I really should step away from the keyboard now and then!”.

    Also: Today on the Facts of Life, it was the episode where Tootie became the Fashion Face of the 80s. And Rob thought Mrs. Garrett was drunk.

    Category General | Tags: | 1 Comment

  2. I can see you’re out of aces…

    July 19, 2007 by Louise

    How come I know all the words to The Gambler? Can anyone tell me that?

    I have decided that if we ever become rich and fabulous, we will immediately go to Las Vegas. Rob can set up camp at the poker tables if he wants (I personally have never played poker… well not true. When I was about six my grandpa taught me to play and somehow I ended up winning every hand– I think I had some wicked assistance there– no way I had that kind of beginner’s luck) but I? I will not be there to gamble.

    Nope. My reasons for Vegas would be:

    Spamalot

    Carrot Top

    and of course

    $1 shrimp cocktails!

    (more…)

    Category General | Tags: | 1 Comment

  3. how I hate to be late…

    July 18, 2007 by Louise

    Rob’s at work, I’m stuck in the bedroom again, and I’ve been browsing the entire Internet (the whole thing!) looking at everything from office furniture (ours is kinda raggedy) to baby pandas to which celebrity’s mom is the scariest-looking.

    And yes, I’m still looking for someone to make me a dang wig. *IF* we get our refund from PayPal within the next couple of days (it can take up to a month) and *if* I find someone reputable to make one for me (there is no one here– I love where we live but it is very very small and … yeah… so it’ll have to be ordered online) for around the same price as we had paid that bad lady, then I *might* have it by the time school starts. Maybe. Because it takes at least three, and up to six weeks for a wig to be custom-made. Then shipping from wherever… But there’s still hope!

    THERE IS STILL HOPE GOSH DARN IT!

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  4. You get what you pay for, sometimes.

    July 17, 2007 by Louise

    Remember how I’m bald? (Well, mostly bald, I have a few sprouts here and there but nothing to write home (or here) about.) (hey I just did parentheses within parentheses) You do? Good. Anyway. Remember how I wear a wig? You do? Awesome! I won’t have to go into detail and you won’t be bored by my long explanations. Woo!

    For the longest time I have been wishing I had a lace wig. They’re way more expensive, yeah, but they also look much much more realistic. You can style them however you like– even wearing them in a ponytail! (this is a big deal), and they just look like your own hair. You can swim with them on. It’s awesome.

    Back in June, I was on eBay browsing, and decided to punch in “lace wig”. And I hit the jackpot. There was a seller from Canada, who said they had been making wigs for 20 years now. I can hear you now. “eBay? OH NO!”. Well, I’ve had great luck with buying from eBay — remember that I got my custom-made-for-me wedding dress from eBay, and I loved it– and I’ve been eBaying since 1998; after nearly 10 years I thought I knew what I was doing. I made sure to email the seller, asking every question I could, and she answered right away. She encouraged me to ask more questions– and I did, to the point that I thought she would be tired of me. But she always answered my questions within 24 hours and was very informative. She took me through every step of how my wig would be made, how I’d attach it, what materials were the best to order, how to care for it, all the way down to how to measure my head so that the thing would fit me perfectly.

    So finally Rob and I bit the bullet and bid. Several hundred dollars later (and to some people, that’s not a ton. For us, well it is. And I felt incredibly guilty but this was my birthday gift! so it’s okay!) we received word that we’d won the auction. Rob paid on June 12th… and we heard nothing from the seller for a week.

    After a few neurotic emails on my part, I finally got a response. The seller’s grandfather had been ill and she’d had to go out of town. She asked the last few questions to get the information she needed to know before starting to make my wig. Alright… I answered them, and asked a few questions of my own. Again, no response for like, a week. When she did get back to me, this time it was because she’d had family in town and hadn’t been able to get to the computer– but was going to place a “rush” on my wig to thank me for my patience. That was nearly three weeks ago. I’ve sent several emails to her, trying to find out what was going on, and I’ve heard nothing back. I’ve been checking her feedback, and today I see that she is “no longer a registered user” and has several negative feedback strikes within the past couple of days.

    Luckily, we paid through PayPal, so we should be getting a refund. I’m still just very disappointed, though. I realize that these wigs take a few weeks to make… I’d been hoping to start the new school year with it. I’d also been hoping to have it so that Rob and I could get some photos taken this summer. That’s all out the window now. I’m actually kind of depressed about the whole thing. Usually I don’t care about my baldness and such but I had allowed myself to get excited about this, and hope that I would actually have pretty hair for once! And now it’s not happening, and I feel like a big ugly fool.

    WAAAH I’M A BIG BABY I KNOW IT!

    Category General | Tags: | 9 Comments

  5. You should really

    July 16, 2007 by Louise

    … be reading these, if you’re not.

    (more…)

    Category General | Tags: | 1 Comment

  6. YouTube Sunday (except it’s technically Monday. But I still say it’s Sunday).

    by Louise

    This is Rob’s LOVE SONG to me.

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  7. I’m doing a meme. So suck it.

    by Louise

    I stole this one from Chunks.

    (more…)

    Category General | Tags: | 2 Comments

  8. Trapped in the closet

    July 12, 2007 by Louise

    Dear Readers, R. Kelly has not taken over this blog. Not to worry.

    This summer has been fairly dismal, as far as weather goes. So far it has either been raining and hot, or cloudy and hot. Today was a mix of the two– it would rain for a few minutes, then stop for an hour, and then rain again, and stop, ad nauseum. Since it was really warm, the mugginess that resulted was just stifling. I was at my mother’s house for most of the day, and I can honestly say that that woman? She’s amazing. She has no fans in the house, no air conditioning (well, most places around here do without a.c. — it’s just not really that much of a necessity), yet she will wear long pants and a long-sleeved shirt and feel just great about it. Meanwhile I’m feeling as though someone has coated me with a layer of Crisco and is forcing me to breathe through a straw.

    Asthma is kind of a stupid jerk of a disease. Most people don’t take it as seriously as they should– I mean, it’s not as though celebrities run around with ribbons on in order to raise awareness (what colour would the ribbons be? Mucus yellow? mmmm, tasty). Basically people think “Oh asthma. Take a hit from your inhaler and you’ll be fine”. Which, for some people? Yeah, that works. For me? Not so much. When the weather is like this, I can take my inhaler every five seconds, and it doesn’t help at all; my lungs feel heavy and wet, and it’s just too.much.work to breathe. The solution?

    Do not leave the bedroom. Stay in the bedroom, do not go out.

    Yes, I am basically trapped in our bedroom tonight. We have a window air conditioner in here, so it’s easily 10 degrees cooler (and less humid) than anywhere else in the house. It’s all good, because we got a new comfy bed (goodbye stupid bed springs that would dig into us! You are going into the guestroom! Oh, um… sorry guests…) and we now have Steve French so I’m not without entertainment. Internet. You must entertain me. Don’t let me down!

    (The Internet has actually been doing a pretty good job of entertaining me, to tell the truth. Along with reading ma’bloggz obsessively, I’ve also been giggling at achewood and thinkin’ lincoln and patches. Oh, and playing silly online games. Which are silly. And online)

    Tomorrow’s forecast seems a little less dire– which is great, since I’m supposed to be taking four teenagers to the carnival midway.

    Teenagers!

    Carnival midway!

    THIS IS ALL GOING TO WORK OUT FINE.

    Category General | Tags: | 3 Comments

  9. The Shit Hawk has Landed

    July 9, 2007 by Louise

    There are about fifty birds in our backyard right now.

    If you know of my love of birds, you know how this makes me feel. Skeeved. Absolutely skeeved. I will not go outside into the backyard. Because I have NO LOVE for birds. I think it stems from a long-ago day (I’d say 1979), discovering a dead bird crawling with … I don’t know, dead bird bugs? … in our babysitter’s backyard sandbox (*cough big muddy hole in the backyard where her husband had pulled up a treestump and then she hauled a bucket of sand from the beach and voila, instant sandbox). Granted the sandbox probably contained pee from every neighbourhood cat but you can’t SEE the cat pee. I could definitely see every feather on this bird’s plague-infested corpse. And it wasn’t all “ooh I am pristinely dead” either. You could see that one of the cats had had its way with the bird, probably right before pissing all over the ‘festive’ plastic beach toys. Anyway. I don’t like birds. At all. And yet there they all are, fucking around in our backyard, as if they’ve got every right to be there. Christ.

    Add this to the fact that the neighbour’s dog somehow escaped its confines this afternoon (I love dogs! I love this dog! But I wish it didn’t live next door! Our neighbours tie it outside for hours on end and it kind of sits there all sadly, barking now and then, except on days like today when it slips out of its collar and then makes a mad dash for our yard, where it just… sits around) and puked up something that I suspect may once have been a tampon. Right in front of me. Cue the neighbour-husband wandering out of the house looking all confused (“Something’s missing in our yard. Lessee… abandoned barbecue cover even though we don’t have a barbecue? Check. Three cinder blocks? Check. Half put-together swingset? Check. Dog? DOG?!”), moseying into our yard and grabbing up the dog who by this time I have named LeRoy, not saying a word to me or offering to clean up the yak. I grabbed the hose and squirted the ersatz stomach contentz into the trees that separate our yards. Maybe those birds will go and eat it.

    Sufice it to say I’m not feeling a great love for all creatures, great *or* small, right now.

    Category General | Tags: | 3 Comments

  10. Dimanche YouTube!

    July 8, 2007 by Louise

    I have no words.

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