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October, 2006

  1. Happy Halloween!

    October 31, 2006 by Louise

    I will be home alone tonight handing out candy and fearing the goblins. Hope y’all have a good one!

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  2. “Cut it out, yo!”

    October 27, 2006 by Louise

    This afternoon I supervised a dance. I’ve supervised plenty of elementary school (“everyone jump to the left! Everyone jump to the right! oh jimmy, please don’t throw up there”) and high school (“you! what do you have hidden in the toilet tank? no I don’t believe that’s where you keep your Bible!”) dances, but this was my first junior high one. It was… interesting.

    Also– at my school the dances take place in the afternoon. So yay! No classes! And this one’s a fundraiser so woo, extra goodness!

    Here, I have figured them out.

    Junior High boys: For the entire week before the dance, must talk about how ‘lame’ school dances are. When asked if they’re going to go anyway, reply that of course they will, because the alternative is to go spend the afternoon in the computer lab and they’re ‘not dorks’. At the last minute 20% of them decide they don’t want to go because they don’t want to risk touching a girl. Are sent to the computer lab instead where they troll around on the Nick, Jr. website. Other 80% of boys go to the gym. Many are wearing excessive amounts of deodorant/cologne/aftershave/body spray (depending on whether they nicked it from their father or their older brother) in spite of the school’s no-scent policy; this is often seen in combination with an overabundance of hair gel. About 30% of these remaining boys spend the first half of the dance in the cafeteria, drinking the warm Sprite that is on offer. This way they don’t have to risk touching a girl, but can still say they went to the dance. Eventually they make their way into the gym, where they take advantage of the relative darkness to run around, give each other wedgies, and wrestle.

    Junior High Girls: Spend the week before the dance talking about how ‘lame’ school dances and why even bother going, the guys all act so stupid. Ten minutes before the dance starts, all rush to the washroom where hair is “done”, makeup is slathered on, and perfume is shared liberally between them. They often exit the washroom all wearing the exact same shade of lipstick. Enter the gym, look around at the boys, and 20% of them immediately go to the cafeteria where they find their own warm Sprite. Those who remain in the gym stay strictly to the side of the room where the boys are not.

    Dance.

    Junior high school girls are very good (flexible) dancers. They probably don’t know what most of the dance moves mean but they’ve got the moves. Junior high school boys are slightly less fortunate in the dancing department. They make up for their lack of rhythm/ability to look cool by running around, wrestling, and giving each other wedgies, or by purposely dancing as if they were being anally probed by an electrical outlet.

    During this time, there are always the break-out groups. The ones who like to accumulate in the hallway by the bathroom doors. “Will you ask your friend if he wants to dance with my friend?” can be overheard, amongst high-pitched giggles and urges of “dude! say yes! say yes, dude!”.

    When the first slow song comes on, there will be

    a) an exodus of boys from the gym to the cafeteria (“The girls are in there! They might want to dance close to our bodies!”)

    b) an influx of girls from the cafeteria to the gym (“The boys! The boys are waiting! WE MUST GO TO WHERE THE BOYS ARE!”)

    Those who actually dance with each other are of two genres: Members of Genre 1 (aka I’ve Never Slow Danced Before Except Once With My Great-Aunt Nancy At The Last Family Reunion), the far more common breed, stand an arms’ length apart, hands on each others’ shoulders, moving stiffly from side to side.
    Members of Genre 2, (aka I’ve Seen People Dancing And This Is How They Do It) rarer but much more insidious, immediately glue themselves together, barely moving, girl’s arms around guy’s neck, guy’s hands on girl’s hips. Occasionally a teacher will have to approach and remove guy’s hands from girl’s bum.

    Meanwhile mass quantities of Sprite are still being consumed.

    When the dance ends, at 3:05 pm, students leave the gym behind them and come, blinking, out into the bright light of day.

    Some of them are thinking “Aw hells yeah, I touched a butt!”. Others are perhaps having thoughts more along the lines of “What the heck is up with guys/girls? They are so weird”. Others still will be thinking “Damn, that wedgie hurt!”

    Their lives are forever changed.

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  3. Morning thoughts

    October 25, 2006 by Louise

    - Things I would do for my blog, if I knew how (or I would ask Rob to do, if I ever thought of it when he was around but generally when he’s around I don’t think much about my blog): make the sidebar thingies into roll-up thingies. Because who needs to see six hundred years’ worth of archive links?

    - I like having insurance again! Last night I got like, $150 worth of meds for $19. Yay!

    - Sleepy. So sleepy. Went to bed at 8:30 last night. Could barely drag myself out of bed at 6:18 this morning (two snoozes!)

    - I am Tom Nook‘s bitch. How did this happen?

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  4. The fruits of our labours.

    October 22, 2006 by Louise

    Rob just cleaned our fridge (this weekend has proven to be quite productive for us generally lazy sloths).

    There were things in there that can only be described as scientific. Or, if you want to be all technical about it, hazardous.

    (more…)

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  5. meme. Me.

    October 20, 2006 by Louise

    You have to do this one by only entering two-word answers, no explanations. It’s hard!

    1. Yourself:
    sleepy bean

    2. Your hair:
    – Coming Soon.

    4. Your mother:
    – Is French

    5. Your Father:
    – Isn’t French

    6. Your Favorite Item:
    – My PJs

    7. Your dream last night:
    – Convention Horror

    8. Your Favorite drink:
    – Milk, water

    9. What did you last eat?
    – Hot Dogs

    10. The Room You Are In?
    – The Office

    11. The Weather?
    – Cold Wet

    12. Your fear:
    – Zombie Cher

    13. Where you want to be in 10 years:
    – Good Person

    14. Where you are now:
    – Getting There

    15. What You’re Not:
    – Outgoing, Social

    16. Your Best Friend:(s)
    – Social Butterfly

    17. One of Your Wish List Items:
    – New Bed

    18. The Last Thing You Did:
    – MSN Erika :)

    19. What You Are Wearing:
    – PJs Tshirt

    20. Your life…
    – Beautiful World

    21. Your Mood:
    – Sorta Confused

    22. Your body:
    – Is Tired

    23. What are you thinking about right now:
    – My Bed

    24. Your Crush:
    – Mister Robbie

    25. What do you wish you were doing
    – Sleepy Dreams

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  6. look! Truth in advertising!

    by Louise

    I saw this last week sometime and thought about how many people I know would be totally surprised by it. Then the most fabulous mainja pointed out that it’s available on youtube, so I thought I’d make sure more people saw it. So now you’re seeing it. See?

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  7. Brain! What’s up?

    October 18, 2006 by Louise

    Last night I dreamed that I was one of the judges on Dancing With The Stars. Judging alongside me were The World’s First Supermodel Janice Dickinson ™ and Chuck Berry, pioneer of rock ‘n’ roll (and secret peeing-lady watcher).

    In my dream, Janice had braces. Chuck was just Chuck. All Chuckified. One of the competitors was Elle MacPherson. Chuck was the first judge to speak, saying that she did well. Next it was Janice’s turn. Janice criticized Elle’s HEAD off! She was all “Your smile is fake and you have a fake tan and I am the world’s first supermodel and you’re nowhere near my caliber and your spins were HORRIBLE and that was not a good Samba at all plus you are wearing ratty hair extensions and I am not a crack addict but I did Do It with Sylvester Stallone and Mick Jagger also you need to really practice your footwork and your posture was terrible!”

    And then? Elle challenged her to a dance-off. Which I missed, because just at that moment, my alarm clock started screaming at me.

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  8. Oh I barely knew ye

    October 16, 2006 by Louise

    The weekend. The weekend is gone, and I barely got a chance to get to know it.
    On Friday night, because I’m having my annual Allergies Go Mental spree, I took a Benadryl. This made me sleep until approximately 3:45 on Saturday afternoon. I went back to bed at 9 pm and slept til 10 on Sunday. Woke up, took Rob to work, attended a 3-year-old’s birthday party, came home, corrected a few tests, voila, now it’s almost time for me to leave for work again.

    BUT! It’s a short week~! Thursday and Friday are PD Days! Woo!

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  9. The one where they totally miss the point (and I’m kind of glad they did)

    October 13, 2006 by Louise

    My students were trying to gross each other out during homeroom today.

    Student 1: My dad was mowing the lawn and he ran over five mice! And they hit me on the arm!

    Students 2 &3: Ewwww

    Student 2: I saw my mom coming out of the shower– and she had no clothes on!

    Students 1&3 : EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

    Student 3: So? My cat’s father is also her HUSBAND!

    Students 1 & 2: Blank stare

    3: It’s true!

    1: You’re lying. Cats can’t even wear rings.

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  10. Bloating, irritability, and tension

    October 9, 2006 by Louise

    I was thinking today of my university entrance exam. As part of it, the part where we had to write an essay so that they would know where to place us in our grammar classes (because it was required that we take french grammar, as it was a french university), I wrote about PMS. I believe one line of my essay went something like “It’s fairly common, when a woman is irritable or snaps at someone, to hear people making jokes about it being ‘that time of the month’. Oddly enough, if a man is having a bad day, it’s quite rare to hear someone commenting on ‘Stan’s sperm-retention headache’ “. Yeah, well, whatever, it got me into the top tier class (that’s not saying much really).

    It’s fairly easy for me to tell that I’m having a bit of PMS right now. As much as I hate the stereotypes, I personify pretty much every one of them. Case in point:

    Driving home from the park this afternoon (was hanging out with the nephews, took the oldest one to play on the slides while the youngest was napping), this song came on the radio. Generally I would either half-listen, think about how sappy it was, and move on, or just change the station right away. But today? Oh, no no. Today I really felt Daniel Bedingfield’s pain. I just felt so badly for him! Why can’t Daniel Bedingfield be with her? His heart tells him he’s meant for her– is there any way that he can stay in her arms? IS THERE? Because seriously, I think he needs to stay in her arms. By the end of the first verse I was a blubbering mess. I was sad. So sad. There are people out there who love other people and the people they love don’t love them! And that’s horrible! Why can’t people just have the people they love! Even though that would mean that Rob would have married Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer about 8 years ago and we’d have never met! It’s just a horrible world when people can’t be with the ones they love. Daniel Bedingfield opened my eyes to a whole new world of PAIN, yo.

    Then Little G yelled out from the backseat “Tante! It’s okay! You’re just cranky! Do you need a nap?”

    Actually, I think that would probably be a good idea.

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