Overheard

(in the car, on the way past the movie theatre)

Louise: Why are there no good movies out? We need to start making our own movies.
Rob: I have a great idea for a horror movie. It would be like The Exorcist, only worse. People would cower in fear before even seeing the poster, just having heard of it.
Louise: Oooh! Tell tell!
Rob: Well first of all it would be based on your life.
Louise (insulted): Hey, dude, I’m not that bad!
Rob: No, no, listen! There would be these people. They would go to sleep at night and everything would be normal. But when they woke up… (shudders)
Louise: I’m still not feeling okay about this.
Rob: Seriously! Listen! When they woke up… their faces! And their butts! Their faces and butts would hurt!
Louise (horrified that he would think that something like this would have anything to do with her life): I have never woken up with my face and butt hurting! And no one I know has ever woken up with their face and butt hurting! What the hell Robbie! What are you talking about!
Rob: (excitedly, for he is now On A Roll) And for weeks and weeks this would keep happening! It wouldn’t matter if they locked their doors. It wouldn’t matter if they tried to stay up all night. It wouldn’t matter if they moved house! They would wake up every morning with sore faces and butts! They would be terrified but wouldn’t want to tell anyone about it! So they’d go see this old lady who was some kind of oracle and she would say that they were UNCLEEEEEAN and then they would decide she was crazy and just go home! And then they would set up a video camera in their room… hoping to catch the demon who was hurting their faces and butts.
Louise: Uh huh…
Rob: And when they watched the tape–
Louise: Let me guess– when they watched the tape there would be a creepy kid and if they didn’t pass the tape on everyone else’s face and butt would hurt?
Rob: No! When they watched the tape they would find out why their faces and butts were hurting! It would be because you were sneaking into their rooms at night squeezing their pores!
(breaks down laughing hysterically)
Louise: LISTEN I ONLY DO THAT TO YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOUR SKIN TO BE HEALTHY AND I HAVE NEVER SQUOZEN YOUR BUTT MISTER! SO HA!
Rob: I still think that would be the scariest movie.