After a day of roaming with my mother yesterday I was ready to just shoot myself. Because although what counts is the fact that we are getting married and it will be a blissful and loving marriage… I am sick of stupid things happening.
Picked up my wedding dress yesterday from the alterations place. Here’s what they had to do:
1) fix the straps so they wouldn’t keep falling down on my arms.
2) put a bustle thing so that I don’t have this train dragging me around all the time.
3) press the dress (I love rhymes).
They told me to be there at 4:00 to pick it up. So I got there at around 3:30. And they were like “We’re closing! Here is your dress! Bye!” and basically pushed me out the door. Great!
Got home.
1) They shortened the straps on the dress. This only causes them to cut into my shoulders, and THEN slide down (I’d asked them to do something completely different and they’d said they would, but I guess they were smoking crack when they said that).
2) The bustle thing is there, but it’s too low, and the train is still going to be dragging around behind me.
3) Not only is my dress still all wrinkly, but there is MAKEUP all over it. I haven’t worn any makeup since March, so it’s not mine.
Okay, not ALL OVER it, but it’s noticeable. Tide Pen, here I come.
Yes, we’re going on Monday to yell at them. Because they are ridiculous. And now my mother has decided to take more stress on herself and try to fix everything (no other places have the time to do it). My mother is going to give herself apoplexies and possibly the vapours (what are those?) trying to make everything be the way she wants it.
ANYWAY! TODAY!
Today we went to Sears to buy shoes, because I have huge Paris Hilton feet (okay, Paris wears a size 12 1/2 and I’m a size 10 but whatever. Please allow me to pretend I have famous rich whore feet. Oh boy, what kind of hits am I gonna get now?) and still haven’t been able to find shoes. Sears has a clearance room and I am cheap. Perfect.
I found shoes. Mom found shoes (although my mom wears a perfectly civilised size 7, she always has a hard time finding shoes because an operation a few years ago left her with one leg shorter than the other one so she has to wear a thing in her shoe which means that she has all these requirements from a shoe like: no heels higher than one inch, must have open toe but closed heel, bla bla bla). Mom wanted a sandwich. We went to the café. As I went to sit down, my left foot slipped on something that was on the floor, r and my stupid toe hit the stupid table and now there is a huge cut! And my toe was bleeding all over Sears! And the people at Sears gave me a wet rag to wipe the blood off their floor and also a band aid! But that wasn’t enough and we had to go find a drugstore where they sell toe condoms (I don’t know what they’re called but that’s what I am now calling whatever the thing on my toe is) and my toe is gross because it’s cut like, from the top of my toe all the way to underneath the nail (why do we need toenails, by the way? I want the scientific explanation. They just seem like a lot of trouble to me).
After this incident I went and bought a pair of flip flops because seriously if my damn foot still hurts like this next week that is what I will be wearing. I hate my stupid foot and I hate stupid sears. All my dreams of becoming a toe model are dashed now. I bet I could sue them.
why does this kind of thing happen on the verge of such an image-conscience time? Personally, I’d be more likely to sue the dress people…but all of it is stressful. You’re being a real patient soul! Glad to see you are managing to keep your sense of humor…that puts you ahead of most impending brides!
Sweet Jesus. I think these things are happening because the universe can’t STAND the thought of such a perfect perfect perfect couple getting together! Hehe. Since your life after marrying Rob will be like all rainbows and unicorns, you are having all your bad luck NOW. Get it?
When I did theater everything that could go wrong, did – in rehearsal… but opening night it was an absolute hit. I’m holding out good thoughts that this will be the same way. :fingers crossed:
Btw, some say that “the vapors” was what flatulence was called a long time ago but, according to every thing I’ve seen/read about it “the vapors” is just an old term for hypochondriasis or hysterical depression. It’s a shame because it would make for a funnier comment if it really did mean flatulence.
SUE THEM
Ok maybe not sue them… but go and make a fuss with the manager and maybe they will give you coupons or something so you can get free stuff!!!
I agree, fussing is good, and it lets you blow off a little steam. It’s fun to point to, say, lipstick smears, and say something like “This is UNACCEPTABLE!”