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June, 2006

  1. Don’t know much…

    June 27, 2006 by Louise

    … but I know I’m grumpyyyyyy.

    Is it the horrible mugginess that has left me out of breath, sweaty and headachey for the past six days? Maybe.
    Is it my horrible period which started today at Superstore while I was looking at sandals ($4.98 for fake Birks! Yes I got a pair. They’re ugly as sin and super-comfy. And they aren’t smelly, like my now-retired Payless sandals are) and talking to the mother of one of my students? Maybe.
    Is it the fact that every damn time I shave my legs lately I end up cutting them? What the hell dude!

    There are many MANY other extenuating circumstances but as I don’t feel comfortable writing on here I will just keep those to myself.
    Tell you what though. Here is a little meme. It’s been done before, I’m sure.
    Ask me questions. Ask me whatever you wanna know. You can put them in comments, or just email me (louise.mATgmailDOTcom). If I don’t find your questions to be assy or super-rude (hell probably even if I do), I’ll answer them. If I don’t know the answer, I will make something up. C’mon, Let me Entertain You.

    THERE YOU HAVE IT.


  2. I have things to say now that I’m thirty.

    June 26, 2006 by Louise

    There is a dog that I love.

    LOVE.

    100% love.

    BUT I AM BEING STRONG AND NOT GETTING HER.

    Also — I don’t know what to do! I can’t bring myself to send Mister Hashie on to his reward! He is like a little mascot in our kitchen now, all propped up next to the toaster with his top hat and bowtie! Yesterday I knocked him onto the floor and I got all freaked out! I think that may be wrong of me!

    And. Today is my brother’s 29th birthday. I sent him an ecard and when I see him next (was supposed to yesterday but he couldn’t make it) I will give him a gift.

    Today is the CN Tower’s 30th birthday. That means that I am older than the CN Tower.

    I don’t think that’s right. No, I most certainly do not.


  3. A Momentary Diversion on the Road to Your Grave

    June 24, 2006 by Louise

    You know how sometimes, even though hashbrowns aren’t really your ‘thing’, all of a sudden you have a wicked craving for a hashbrown, so you go out and buy a pack of hashbrowns? Of course you know! I knew you would know! I am so proud of you!

    Then you put a few of the hashbrowns in the oven. When they’re done, you take them out and eat them. Then your craving for hashbrowns is gone, and you’re left with an almost-full pack of the ‘browns in the freezer. Whatever. They can stay there forever. Who needs them anymore? The craving has subsided and all is well with the world.

    Over the next couple of weeks, you live, you love, you do a lot of barbecueing. The couple of times you *do* use the oven (okay, the one time), you notice a weirdish smell, and think “hmmm probably something bubbled over in there and is burning, I really should clean the oven sometime” but since you’re a total slacker, and you don’t really know how to clean the oven anyway because your mom always did it at home and never let you near the kitchen when she did, and then when you lived on your own your oven had a button that said “clean oven” and you would just push that button and walk away but your oven now doesn’t have that button so what are you supposed to do now?, you just don’t bother.

    Then, say you have a fiancé named Rob. Say one day your fiancé, Rob, makes a pizza, puts it in the oven, and says to you “Hey Louise,” (oh, yeah. Your name is Louise in this TOTALLY FICTIONAL TALE) “… do you smell something weird?” You, thinking maybe you really should’ve cleaned the oven two weeks ago when you first thought about it, say “Uhm… I don’t know”. Then your fiancé, Rob, goes and takes his pizza out of the oven… and as he pulls it out, the pizza pan hooks onto something else, which comes flying off the oven rack to the floor at your feet.

    It’s… it’s…

    MISTER HASHIE!

    MR HASHIE

    Mister Hashie is a magical being from the depths of the oven! He dances! He sings! He smells really bad!


  4. You can fly!

    June 22, 2006 by Louise

    For anyone in Toronto who is feeling a bit… I don’t know… adventurous? And who would like to take a little vacation in say, PEI… let’s say, oh, in August sometime? Like near the 19th, for example. And maybe stop by for a little wedding action?

    Sunwing has just added PEI as a destination. $99/flight isn’t too shabby.


  5. T and Meg, I’m sorry that your names and ‘hand raping’ appear in the same post. I really am. But it couldn’t be helped.

    June 20, 2006 by Louise

    I am often amazed at how the Internet really can be so supportive and wonderful. I know some people feel that People Inside the Computer are just that– not real friends. In fact a very good friend of mine said to me last weekend, about someone I think I’m quite close to and have known for years (we were discussing wedding invitations, and this person’s name came up), “You guys never see each other– like maybe once a year. How can you be friends? Internet stuff isn’t ‘real’”. Meanwhile I consider this ‘not real’ person one of my closest friends, even though we don’t see each other often at all, and most of our relationship has played out over Messenger or through emails. Boy, I’m maybe starting to sound a bit pathetic? I do not know.

    I am smart enough not to be like “Everyone I meet on the Internet is my New Best Friend!”, but I have to disagree with the thought that you can’t be friends with people online. There are quite a few people out there, who I’ve ‘met’ online, either through my ‘blarg, or via other avenues, who I consider great friends. Sure, it’s possible that every single one of these people is putting up a false front of niceness and is actually a horrible hand-raping murderer who is only out to embezzle every penny of my vast fortune, but hey, I’m an optimist. Give ‘em the benefit of the doubt, I say! Brioche for everyone!

    I also have ‘real’ friends in real life who never use the computer for anything, and we actually do leave the house and do things, so please don’t think I huddle over the Interweb Machine all through the day and night, my pallid skin shining in the glow of the screen, posting to the Joey Fatone Bulletin Board.

    Ahem.

    So many of you who read this blog are just great people. I feel like almost everyone I’ve ‘met’ through this thing have contributed something to my life. Almost all of the comments I receive have opened my eyes, informed me, made me smile, made me laugh, made me cry (yes, I cry sometimes about blog comments!) and most of all, made me think. That’s the biggest gift. Many, many people contributed squares to my Blanket Statement project– enough squares to make 5 blankets for the homeless and underprivileged.Yes, some of you have sent me gifts in the past (be it the treats that Terry sent for Judd Nelson– which came last week by the way, thank you Terry! He loves them! When he sees us coming with the dandelion ones he freaks out and does a dance!– or birthday gifts or a card or whatever) for which I’m immensely appreciative but in no way do I feel like they’re my due. In fact it surprises the heck out of me when people do stuff like that. Then I freak out and do a dance!

    My point is, y’all are awesome. I could go on and on naming everyone and talking about how much you’ve each contributed to my life (in fact I might, sometime, but not today) but I won’t, because probably right about now is when people are starting to stare glassy-eyed and drooling at this post wondering why the heck they even bothered clicking here today.

    (more…)


  6. The Ballad Of Gordon

    June 19, 2006 by Louise

    As I look forward to my (yikes) 30th birthday I find myself looking back over my life (yeah right, I know I’m not dying). And I remember when I was 15 and met Ed (of the Barenaked Ladies) on the ferry to PEI. This was before they were hugely famous; they were going to be playing in Charlottetown at some bar. He asked if I was going to go and I was like “dude, it’s a bar. I can’t go to such places. I’m fifteen”. I knew who they were though because I was a weird little indie chick. Yes I know nobody thinks of them as indie NOW, but this was Back in the Day. 1992, man. Good times.
    Imagine my joy a year later when I saw the following on TV. I mean, I knew they were getting famouser, because, well, they were. But it was cool to see them getting a bit of play in the US, even if it did involve dressing up in a golden poncho. In fact I wish I was wearing a golden poncho right now.
    Oh, and uhm… cool glasses there Steve.

    Okay that’s all.


  7. Time is ticking away!

    by Louise

    Today’s June 19th. What does that mean?

    Exactly two months until our wedding. That’s… not very long.

    AND!

    It also means!

    Six days until my birthday!

    My THIRTIETH birthday. What in the hell? I’m turning 30? Seriously? That just seems so utterly bizarre to me. According to a friend of mine who read my palm one time, I’m going to die while I’m in my 50s and never have children, so being 30 just makes me that much closer to a lonely sucky death. Or she could just have been full of crap. Guess we’ll never know until I die.

    So a few days ago I tried this out. It’s kind of interesting, aside from the fact that the robot computer lady seems to only blink once every three minutes. I like that I don’t have to leave the house and prance around in front of other people (I’m a bitter hermit). I also like that the robot computer lady tailors things to my fitness level, strengths and weaknesses. Of course after one 15-minute workout yesterday (it was Sunday! Sunday is lazy day!) I had only burned 98 calories but it’s more than I’d have burned laying around on the couch eating ched-a-corn.

    Mmmmm, ched-a-corn.

    (“Try them– if you DARE!”)


  8. Good luck! And have a great summer!

    June 15, 2006 by Louise

    My last exam is tomorrow. It’s kind of bittersweet– sure, I’ll be glad to be almost done the year, to have six weeks off starting at the beginning of July, etc. etc. Still, though, I’m moving on– I’ll be at a different school next year. I’ll totally miss the students I’ve had here (even the one that told another teacher to fuck off yesterday… okay maybe I won’t miss him AS MUCH). I love the staff here, and if you know me at all you know it’s difficult for me to meet people or make friends. I am so shy as to seem rude, sometimes. It’s painful. Either I say the wrong thing or I just don’t say anything, and people think I’m an antisocial moron. Which, well, I am, but let’s not get into that.

    But yes. I am nearly finished correcting the exams I’ve given so far. I have an exam to give tomorrow and that’s it. I want to have my grades in by Monday, even though they’re not due until a week from then. Then I can concentrate on cleaning up my classroom, packing things up, and getting ready for The Big Move. Oh, and also SLEEPING IN AN EXTRA HALF HOUR IN THE MORNINGS BECAUSE INSTEAD OF LEAVING AT 7 AM WE ARE LEAVING AT 7:30 OH YEAH OH YEAH!!!

    In about 15 minutes I have to go supervise the library to make sure the kiddies aren’t rioting out of control up there. Oh joy oh bliss. I wish I could be taking a nap. That’s one thing I find lately, I’ve been extra super tired even when I sleep like, 300 hours. Wait, that’s not just ‘lately’, that’s ‘always’. Because I’m a sleep monster and love sleeping and I know it’s not right to always want to be sleeping, but it’s just so niiiiice. I actually have to hold myself back from just crawling into bed when I get home from work. I love our bed.

    Rambling? Yeah.


  9. Do I suck? The answer is: Yes, a little.

    June 11, 2006 by Louise

    Our wedding is… oh, I dunno. Like two months away. And what have I not done yet? Sent invitations.

    You’d think I didn’t want anyone there.

    The reality of it is that I fear that no one’s going to come (a very real possibility) so I’m subliminally avoiding that possibility.

    Tonight I went through the brazilians of emails my mom sent me with her family’s addresses, and printed them out. Now I have to search for my friends’ addresses (by the way, if you’re my friend, could you send me your mailing address? I know you’ve sent it to me seven thousand times before, but… read the title of this post! C’mon!). I plan on addressing envelopes a) tomorrow evening, all of them in one shot, at which point I will have my hand amputated or b) bringing them to school and addressing them while I’m supervising exams. Or c) NEVER SENDING THEM OUT AND GETTING MARRIED IN THE BASEMENT which is what I deserve.

    Rob of course is so on the ball and had his done weeks ago. Men. Hmph.


  10. Incognito

    June 8, 2006 by Louise

    I might be scarce around here for the next little while (then again I might be totally all here all the time). It’s exam time. I am making exams as we speak. Next week I will be correcting them. No time for any foolishness.