I always seem to post something horrible, and then disappear. Sorry to those of you who’ve been stuck staring at my disgusting belly for a week… or am I sorry? You probably should be happy that you haven’t heard a thing from me because if you had, you’d just be hearing me whine and gripe and no one wants that (even though I haven’t really refrained before, so why stop now, I’m sure you’re thinking).
Oh, people, I have been a huge CRAB all week. It’s been cold out, the wind has been howling and making me wish I could just stay snuggled in, and I have been grumpy. Seriously. As is the example in this little vignette from my day yesterday:
1st class I was teaching complained that they had to take notes… so I gave them more notes to take. MORE!
2nd class? It wasn’t so bad because we were watching a movie (although I hate watching movies in class, we kind of have to, for this part of the curriculum) but one kid threw a paper airplane and another called someone a fag, and both these guys? Straight to the office.
3rd class kept talking instead of letting me explain the work that had to be done so I just sat down. Then like, 15 minutes later, when one of them was finally like “Oh hey, maybe we should ask how to do this work”, I just said “Know what? You have to do x, y and z, I’m not explaining because you just wasted 15 minutes of my time, plus instead of the two chapters I was going to assign for this weekend, you have to read the next 6 chapters and write a summary by Monday. Have a great weekend, everyone”.
Yeah, I’m kind. Or, well, not really. Seriously, I’ve been feeling a bit like this all week:
(no, not like a surly five-year-old otter who is searching for his brown couch but has only had chapstick to eat and none of the crackheads at the dump are giving him answers… but… actually, yeah, kind of like a surly five-year-old otter who is searching for his brown couch but has only had chapstick to eat and none of the crackheads at the dump are giving him answers)
Of course yesterday at the end of the day I discovered that my uterus has betrayed me for the SECOND TIME THIS MONTH which is just wrong of it. WRONG. Stupid uterus! STUPID! So today I made a carrot cake and we are having hot dogs for supper. And after supper? I am going to watch all the DVR’d episodes of Boston Public and I will cry over how those teachers, they can somehow afford designer outfits and sportscars.
AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME.
Crabby teacher? Bring it on!!! The brats need that when they don’t behave.
You made carrot cake? I made one couple days ago. I forgot to add the milk (don’t forget to add milk!) and it became a carrot torte instead. But it was good. And make sure the icing is really more icing sugar than anything else.
I need girls to go oooh over my new shoes. Counterbalance the commenter who wishes every woman was … uh… pick an actress from the 1940s.