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A big congratulations to the lovely Brenda and Dustin on the arrival of their little girlie… congratulations!

Seriously, rumours of my demise have been highly exaggerated.

I get busy. Well, okay, I get sleepy. There will be more blogging time available probably next week, once my night job finishes. Besides, do you really wanna know what I do everyday? Here you go:

5:30 – alarm clock rings. Snooze button.
5:39 – alarm – snooze
5:48 – alarm – snooze
5:57 – alarm – I jump up and say “I AM SO UP!”

6 am- Shower
6:15 – wander house, nude, looking for something to wear.
6:35 (yeah, there’s lots of naked time): Get dressed. Brush teeth.

6:40 – Make sure all my stuff’s ready to go.

6:50 – Leave (carpool! always gets here early!)

7:45 – Arrive at school. Do work.

9:00 – Start teaching
3:00 – Finish teaching. Do work.
4:00 – Leave work.
4:45 – Get home. Remove pants. Lay on couch and whine about how rotten such and such kid was today.
5:00 – hopefully eat some supper.
5:30 – Golden Girls.
(if it’s Tuesday or Thursday I leave at 5:30 to go to the other job and work there til 8 then get home at 8:15 or whatever time)
6:30 – Do work.
8:30 – Tired. Either take bath or read.
9:00 – asleep and drooling.

… and so on. It’s not that exciting. I know I could take time out of my stellar schedule to blog but seriously? That’s all I do. I’m not fancy. I don’t die, I just… yeah. Do boring stuff.

So. What’s up with all y’all?

We start our pre-marriage course tonight!

YES WE DO!

I always seem to post something horrible, and then disappear. Sorry to those of you who’ve been stuck staring at my disgusting belly for a week… or am I sorry? You probably should be happy that you haven’t heard a thing from me because if you had, you’d just be hearing me whine and gripe and no one wants that (even though I haven’t really refrained before, so why stop now, I’m sure you’re thinking).

Oh, people, I have been a huge CRAB all week. It’s been cold out, the wind has been howling and making me wish I could just stay snuggled in, and I have been grumpy. Seriously. As is the example in this little vignette from my day yesterday:

1st class I was teaching complained that they had to take notes… so I gave them more notes to take. MORE!

2nd class? It wasn’t so bad because we were watching a movie (although I hate watching movies in class, we kind of have to, for this part of the curriculum) but one kid threw a paper airplane and another called someone a fag, and both these guys? Straight to the office.

3rd class kept talking instead of letting me explain the work that had to be done so I just sat down. Then like, 15 minutes later, when one of them was finally like “Oh hey, maybe we should ask how to do this work”, I just said “Know what? You have to do x, y and z, I’m not explaining because you just wasted 15 minutes of my time, plus instead of the two chapters I was going to assign for this weekend, you have to read the next 6 chapters and write a summary by Monday. Have a great weekend, everyone”.

Yeah, I’m kind. Or, well, not really. Seriously, I’ve been feeling a bit like this all week:

(no, not like a surly five-year-old otter who is searching for his brown couch but has only had chapstick to eat and none of the crackheads at the dump are giving him answers… but… actually, yeah, kind of like a surly five-year-old otter who is searching for his brown couch but has only had chapstick to eat and none of the crackheads at the dump are giving him answers)

Of course yesterday at the end of the day I discovered that my uterus has betrayed me for the SECOND TIME THIS MONTH which is just wrong of it. WRONG. Stupid uterus! STUPID! So today I made a carrot cake and we are having hot dogs for supper. And after supper? I am going to watch all the DVR’d episodes of Boston Public and I will cry over how those teachers, they can somehow afford designer outfits and sportscars.

AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME.

I have suffered from eczema since I was a tiny baby (me? tiny? YES IT WAS ONCE TRUE THANK YOU). It’s not surprising– my maternal grandmother had it so bad that there were times she couldn’t hug us; my mother, when faced with cats, breaks out in hives all over (and complains? Oh lord you wouldn’t believe it!). Mine is aggravated by allergies (and, well, I’m pretty much allergic to everything you can think of), but even when I’m being super-vigilant, avoiding every single allergen I possibly can, and basically living in a bubble, it never really goes away. Actually that’s not true. There were the 11 months they had me on prednisone for another reason; my asthma and eczema were never a problem during that time. Of course the risk of my bones breaking and the fact that it helped me to gain like, 80 lbs kind of precluded me just staying on it for life so as soon as I stopped taking it, the itch was back (why am I thinking of Elton John right now?).

So, my body is covered with scars from times (like when I’m asleep) when I just can’t stop scratching. Also stretch marks– the steroid cream that gets rid of eczema unfortunately thins your skin and causes stretchmarks. I had them when I was 7. Of course I have plenty more now just caused by expanding, but whatever. Rob doesn’t mind them (although he does empathise because he knows how painful it can be). He will douse me with vinegar sometimes to help me stop itching. Then he calls me his french fry. Hey, we all love french fries, right? There are days when wearing clothes? Oh, it’s so horrible. The clothes! They’re touching my body! NOT GOOD!

Last night I was taking a bath (you know, the cool baking-soda bath? Yep, let’s use all our kitchen ingredients for bathing!) and I made him come in and take the following photo (warning: It’s after the jump because it’s gross and also it’s probably pretty big).

So I was totally NUDE during the photoshoot! Are you excited? Yeah, it’s only my belly (that could be why the photo’s so huge ) and know what I’m doing today? VANQUISHING THE RASH. I’m putting on so much steroid cream (stretchmarks be damned) that I’ll be squooshing when I move and that is my project for today.

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Tonight is parent-teacher! So is tomorrow! So I will be at work until 9 pm tonight.
I know that I shouldn’t but I am really nervous about the whole thing, esp. what with last year’s experience. I know, whole other school, whole other province, but damnit, I do tend to awfulize, don’t I?

So anyway tonight when you’re like, home, and like, actually eating supper, think of me, feasting on my Michelina’s in the staffroom (I work an hour away so I’m def. not driving home for supper).
FEASTING I SAY!

Silly silly! Last night I absolutely couldn’t fall asleep. Of course now this morning I found it impossible to wake up. Lucky for me I’m driving myself in to work today because if I weren’t my carpool people would be picking me up around now and that would be pretty sad for them seeing as I only managed to drag my butt out of bed like, 3 minutes ago.

And I promised my bed that I would be home snuggling it as soon as I could. It’s a sick relationship I have with my bed, I tell you.

Something I hate is when I have a nice post all typed up, then I hit a button that I shouldn’t, and the whole thing disappears.

(or, when I have a mediocre post half-typed, and the same thing happens, as was the case just now).

Aie, well.

Rob (on the phone with his father): Well, I hope you catch a massive dose of crabs this week, so many that you don’t know what to do with ‘em.

Oh, filial love.

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