Over 40 days ago, at the beginning of the Lenten season, I made the decision to give up chocolate until Easter. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, because I don’t usually eat a great deal of chocolate anyway. And it wasn’t, really. I didn’t miss eating chocolate bars or anything like that — mainly it was things like not having my once every fortnight hot chocolate from Tim’s (which was replaced successfully by their hot apple cider), or a bite of Rob’s chocolate cake, etc. etc., that left me feeling deprived now and then. And of course, when all the Easter candy came out and I kept seeing racks and racks of Cadbury Creme Eggs (something I don’t even really LIKE but always have one around Easter time), I started feeling weaker in my resolve. But, I was Strong. I Persevered. And I even made it PAST Easter — The first chocolate I had was last night (a Cadbury Creme Egg. Hey, they were on sale at wal-mart! Three for 80 cents!). Okay, that was fine. Actually it was kind of putridly super-sweet and I vowed no more until next year and maybe not even then.
But right now? Oh. My. God.
I just ate half of the chocolate bunny Rob gave me when I got home from my parents’. Half. 80-something grams of chocolate, directly into my belly, which hadn’t even been properly coated with, like, breakfast or anything. Oh sure, I thought I could just stop at the ears. “I’ve done without for weeks!”, I said to myself. “No problem! One little bite and I’ll probably have my fill of chocolate for the next month”. Well, I’m here to tell you friends, that it’s a slippery slope. The ears? They’re the gateway. You can’t just stop at the ears. You have to move on to the head. I mean, it’s mandatory, right? It would be BAD MANNERS to not have a headless bunny… Next thing you know, you’re sitting glassy-eyed and chocolate-smeared, staring at the dessicated remains in your hand and wondering how they got there.
I feel the shakes coming on. If you don’t hear from me for a few days, just assume that I’m either a) in a diabetic coma or 2) halfway to Mexico and still running, buzzing from the sugarhigh.
they all said “she’s just another groupie slut”
and I said I thought you were anything but
think again
sometimes reputations outlive their applications
and sometimes fires don’t go out when you’re done playing with them
I feel so funny deep inside
when you kiss me goodbye
sugarhigh.
we could go out and not even leave the house
a t.v. set and a bottle of wine is just fine
making out on that old pull out couch
watching saturday night live, I guess that’s why
I feel so funny deep inside
when I lick between your thighs
sugarhigh
I have searched both far and wide
I’ve explored the deepest caverns of my mind
to try and find an explanation why
I get this funny feeling deep inside
when you kiss me goodbye
and when I lick between your thighs
sugarhigh
Louise, you are hilarious. Thank God I wasn’t eating/drinking while reading this entry!
My favorite part… “The ears? They’re the gateway.” *rotflmao*
oh man, you’ve got me craving chocolate bunnies. really really bad…lol
chocolate is goooood. Maybe your body just needed chocolate.
Hey, what song is that in the “more”…? I like the lyrics…
Thief! You stole my chocolate entry! I was going to post about THAT VERY THING today! Like you, I was never a huge chocolate eater. A bite here, a bite there. But since I’m now on a restricted diet, visions of chocolate have been plaguing me. Yesterday, in a fit similar to yours, I stomped to the corner store and picked up an almond Mars bar and a box of Glossette raisins. I split the Mars with the Teen (it was divine) and went and hid in the office to inhale the box of raisins. I think I have been cured — for now.
Burst out laughing in the quiet of my office while reading this.
My assistant now thinks I’m more nuts than before.
Thanks!