AAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
Please excuse me if I’m rambling here, I’m just frustrated and a little freaked out and want to vent. I must say first, that yes I’m gonna be whiny, and yes, half the things I’m going to whine about are fixable and not something that I should really worry about so I don’t really need comments saying “Louise chill out you’ll be fine you dink” (not that anyone ever does that, for some reason you all seem to put up with me, something for which I believe I should send you all chocolates), because I KNOW I’ll be fine but yeah.
SO NOW THE WHINING STARTS.
I just got back from my therapist. I love my therapist. She is smart. She is funny. She totally gets me, and honestly? According to my doctor, and me, and probably everyone else in the world, she is the best therapist in the province. She has helped me SO much since I began seeing her back in January. Yay, Therapist! Uhm. Her name is Carla. I’ll stop calling her My Therapist now. So that part wasn’t whining. It’s just that today’s appointment brought about a whole lot of stuff that I have to digest and it’s going to take me a bit of whining to get to that point 
One of the things that’s bothering me is that a while back, she asked me to purchase a book which I can read and then we’ll do some work with. I want the book. I really do. The problem? It’s like, $35. Right now, faced with choosing between $35 for a book and $35 for groceries? I’ll be choosing groceries. BUT I need to do the reading to actually help myself get on with the process, so it’s frustrating. I haven’t been able to find it in the library catalogue. I checked eBay, where there is one copy, on sale for… $40. So this is a frustrating thing, which I wish I could fix. RIGHT NOW. Blah but I can’t so oh well.
Second thing that’s freaking me out a little: We made up our minds that I am going back to work. On May 1st. Okay that part isn’t freaking me out, really — I mean, I’m nervous, I haven’t been at work in like… five months, and it will be 7 by the time I go back, but I know that I’ll be okay, and anyway it will only be May and half of June so I can survive that. The part that’s really freaking me out at the moment is that Carla told me that I should set up a meeting with my principal and talk to her about how I really felt as though she didn’t have my back and how I need her to support me. That terrifies me.
FEH!
Okay that’s that for that. I made biscuits. They’re good. Mmm.
Bye.
March 17th, 2005 saat: 5:12 pm
They have it for $20 something here: http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=262956&meta_id=1
March 17th, 2005 saat: 10:56 pm
Half.com has some truly awesome deals sometimes!
And, yes, you know that you can do it… it’s just a matter of taking the first step. “Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” I believe in you, as I’m sure many others do, too. You can do it!!
March 18th, 2005 saat: 4:56 pm
Yes, that is a bit scary but you can do it!! It may make you feel more empowered in the long run.
Being grown-up is a bitch.
hugs!!
March 19th, 2005 saat: 10:06 am
A good therapist is one who challenges you to do what you want to shrink from. Haha, unintentional play on words there.
My only suggestion is to rehearse what you will say to the principal — try role-playing with Rob. It might make you feel better-prepared and calmer for the real deal. I have begun doing this when I need to confront someone.
March 20th, 2005 saat: 9:14 am
gah. the idea of talking to my principal makes me twitch really badly. so i have some idea of the terror there. you can do it, i know you know that, and i know it and your therapist knows it. and you have some time to get prepared. i echo Terry, rehearse it! with Rob, with your therapist, with everyone.
your school runs through June? we get out the last week of may. and man, im way too looking forward to it.