Do you know how incredibly guilty I still feel about taking this time off work?
Very. Very, very, incredibly guilty.
I know that my substitute is doing a wonderful job with my students and I know that I shouldn’t be there right now, but I still feel guilty. I also don’t feel that I should have to tell them specifically why I am out– “medical reasons” is it, and I don’t tell them more; as Connie said to me this morning they probably think I have cancer, which I don’t, as far as I know.
Anyway. Because of my guilt and my fear of them totally hating me and firing me (which logically I know they can’t fire me, but they can certainly hate me if they want to) I have avoided letting them know at the school that I will be out until Dec. 15th. Our phone has not been working properly– and the repairman who was supposed to show up AGES ago, just hasn’t yet– so I can’t phone them, I told myself. I practically freak out everytime I access my work email, so I avoided that too. This morning I finally got up the guts to email them and let them know that I wouldn’t be back for longer than we’d thought. We shall see how that turns out– I keep picturing them completely hating me and doing some kind of thing (I imagine the Spanish Inquisition) to find out what exactly is wrong with me, and then (yes I know none of this would happen nor is it legal) writing reports about how I am terrible. I just need to GET OVER MYSELF really. They have a wonderful substitute in who is doing such a great job; I’m sure the kids will LOVE to have her there a bit longer, and I’m sure she’ll be glad of the extra money.
AND NOW ON TO OTHER THINGS!!!
Since some people are only interested in the Seamonkeys, a little Seamonkey update:
I got nothin’.
Well actually, that’s not quite true. There’s a lot of stuff floating around in the tank. I follow instructions and swish it around every day to make sure oxygen gets in there. And I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen, among the debris, a few little things actually SWIMMING around. But since they’re smaller than the head of a pin, it would be no use photographing them unless I had some kind of high-powered lens. Which I don’t.
I feel confident that my colony will thrive, however, with me as their One True Leader.
Also– beans.